Any other person—any other time—with this much sympathy in their voice would send my anger boiling over. But West ain’t done, and I’m just too tired to fight any more.
“You’re a damn good operator, Raelynn. You follow orders—most of the time—you’ve got great instincts, and you’re so stubborn, you don’t give up even when you probably should. But keep your pain bottled up for too long, and it’s going to explode like a rusty IED. While we’re on mission.”
It already has. If only I were brave enough to tell him that.
“I can’t make you talk to anyone. Not me, not Ry, not a shrink. But if you don’t find someone, you’re going to burn out sooner rather than later.”
Six weeks ago, I would have laughed in his face. Or behind his back—I don’t have a death wish. But after our last mission…
Wyatt glares at me as Hope whimpers from the basement of her ex’s compound. “If it were the love of your life down there—” he says.
“The love of my life died in my arms. Bring him up again, and I’ll break my foot off in your ass.”
Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to tell West something. Just enough to get him off my back.
“Brooks and I were high school sweethearts,” I say quietly. “He took over his daddy’s cattle ranch while I was in the Air Force. We ran it together after I retired. Almost ten years of the hardest work I’ve ever done.”
“Clearly, I need to step up my training game,” West says with a dry chuckle.
“You do that, ain’t none of us gonna be field ready for a month. You and Ryker are fuckin’ sadists.”
West lets loose with a rich laugh that practically has him doubling over. It feels good to relax—even a little—after the day I’ve had.
I finally found someone I like who likes me, who excites me in a way I haven’t felt in…forever. And I’m going to ruin it if I can’t find a way to open up to him. What the hell is wrong with me?
West takes a sip from his mug, still watching me. I could probably get him to leave me be now. But if I tell him the real problem, could he actually help?
“My barbaric training regimen aside, why is this all comin’ up now?” he asks.
I don’t look at him, choosing to stare down at the floor. “That guy in your beginner class, Nash?”
“Yeah? What about him?” West leans back against the cushions and drains the last of his coffee.
“He’s fixin’ my heater. Damn thing broke a week after I closed on the house. It’s been a couple of days and we’ve…gotten to talkin’. He’s nice. Funny.”
I swallow hard and take a deep breath.
“We kissed this morning. But then he called me Rae.” My emotions threaten to drown me, and I scrub my hands over my face.
“Rae?” West tugs at his short brown hair like that’ll help him figure out the puzzle I just dropped in his lap. “I’m going to need a little more to go on here.”
“Brooks was the only one who ever called me Rae. It…hurt. And I lost my shit.” Gesturing to my face, I shrug. “Acted a damn fool, kicked him out, and now I gotta find a way to face him. This is the first time in four years I’ve wanted to get to know a guy in that way, and I’ve fucked it right up.”
West snorts. “He’s into you, Raelynn. You didn’t see how many times he checked you out during class the other day. He’s not going to give up on you because you had one moment of grief. And if he does, he’s not good enough for you anyway.”
I’m older than West by a couple of years, but he’s actin’ like I always imagined a big brother would. Patient. Protective. Encouraging. Even if I do want to kick his ass half the time.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “Because the way he looked at me when I told him to leave…”
Tank pushes through the outer door, startling me into silence. His fancy jacquard shirt shimmers over tight black jeans and heavy motorcycle boots. “How you doin’, bro? Ma’am?”
“He gets ‘bro’ and I get ‘ma’am’? I ain’t that much older than you are.”
The big man chuckles. “I respect my elders, ma’am. Dax will kick my ass if he hears otherwise.”
West pushes to his feet, shooting me a quick, pointed look that clearly says, “We’re okay. For now.”
“Get your laptop,” he says, motioning for Tank to meet him at the table in front of a group of massive flat-screen monitors. “We’ve got three hours until I have to pick Cam up for date night, and there’ll be hell to pay if I’m late.”
