“To explain.” Domina leans against the counter across from me, hugging herself tightly. “I’ve been on my own since I was eighteen. My grades were good enough to earn a small scholarship to the University of California in Berkeley, but I worked two jobs the whole time.”
After a sigh, she continues. “I told you about my last relationship. But not the one before that. Or the one I had in college.”
“What happened?” The coffee forgotten, I face her, my hands shoved deep in my pockets. All I want to do is hold her, but the vibes she’s giving off are clearly “stay back.”
“I broke up with both of them after a few months. I told myself it was because they only wanted me to take care of them.” She straightens, lifting her chin. “But it was not all their fault. Brian—I met him in college—was sweet. He used to bring me chocolate-covered espresso beans when I was studying. Even takeaway during finals week. But I never told him anything about my childhood. My dreams. My fears. Nothing.”
Shit. She has no idea how to open up to anyone. Everything about her—the way she kicked me out of her apartment after the attack, her reaction when I told her I was in recovery, even shutting the door in my face last night—it all makes sense now.
“Domina…”
She sniffles once, then swipes at her cheek like she’s angry at the single tear she let slip. “My entire life, I have been alone. I thought it was better that way. Until tonight.”
“What happened tonight, baby?” If I thought she’d let me, I’d hold her, but she’s not ready yet.
“I tried everything. A hot bath. Yoga. Meditation.” She sniffles but straightens her shoulders. “I didn’twantto be scared. But I’m always alone, Leo. Maybe…I don’t want to be anymore.”
Her eyes give everything away. Raw agony, made worse by years thinking she had to do everything for herself. “Has anyone ever taken care of you, Domina?Reallytaken care of you?”
“No. Not until you.” Domina stares down at her bare feet. Her cheeks are even redder now. “I don’t know how to let you. But I think…I know I want to.”
All the pieces fall into place. “And demanding we stay here…that was your way of trying to take care of me, wasn’t it?”
“I thought if I wanted us to have a relationship, that was what I needed to do. But…now I want to stay here because you’re here, and you make me feel safe.” A hint of a smile curves her full lips, and a small part of me settles. “I…I trust you, Leo.”
Relief courses through me until she raises her head. “But I understand if you cannot forgive me. I made your actions, the sacrifices you were willing to make, all about me.”
“Itisall about you, baby.” I cringe when the term of endearment slips—again—though the damage to my face hides at least some of the motion. “What you went through as a kid…I can’t imagine. But trust issues? I’ve got those in spades. You don’t have to explain yours to me—unless you want to.”
“I do,” she says, another tear spilling over. “But…not tonight. Tonight, will you just hold me?”
* * *
Domina
Leo wraps his arm around me and leads me into his bedroom. “It’s close to midnight, and we have to be up early. Where’s your phone? Your briefcase?”
“On my kitchen counter.” I’m so tired. Crying for three hours was not how I expected to spend my evening. Until Leo’s final text of the night, I still thought I would fall asleep in my own bed, alone and full of regrets.
“I’ll go get them. Anything else you want?” He sinks down on the bed to lace up his boots. “Favorite pillow? Slippers? Eye mask?”
“I don’t have any of those things. My phone and briefcase will be fine.” Digging in my pocket, I pull out my apartment keys. “You will need these.”
He gives me that adorable lopsided grin. “I don’t, but the keysdomake it easier. Be back in five minutes. Don’t go anywhere.”
The warning stings, but I don’t blame him for not trusting me. I haven’t given him much reason to.
Leo’s front door clicks shut, and I stretch out on his bed. It smells like him. Like a rainforest after a storm. And something spicy, warm, and reassuring.
If only I understood my feelings for him. We have known one another for less than a week, and when I’m not with him, he’s all I can think about.
A few minutes later, he’s back with my briefcase and phone in his hand. “I expect Zephyr to call me back soon. She’s running facial recognition on the pictures I took today. You should get some rest.”
Leo leans down and presses his lips to my forehead. It’s so sweet, so utterly protective. Like he’s promising to stand between me and whatever—whoever—comes for me.
“Don’t go.” I snag his wrist, pulling him closer. “I don’t know who Zephyr is, but I don’t want to be alone tonight. Stay with me, Leo.”
I can see how conflicted he is. But I need this more than anything. Someone to hold me. To keep the darkness away. All night.
