I snort. “Yoden was a pro. At my best, I might have landed a couple of punches. But he would have taken me down in under a minute. He wasn’t vengeful, either. Pull up his kills.”
Ronan shoots me a look of utter bafflement.
With a chuckle, I open an encrypted connection to the dark web and start the search. In under five minutes, I have a dozen different photos tiled on screen. “Look at the bodies. Not a single bruise, cut, or scrape other than the killing blows. Ten were shot, two had their throats slit. He was too good. No one could have bested him. And definitely not like…that.”
“It’s not enough.” Ronan finishes his tea and sets the mug down hard. “What about the lab reports? How did they get your DNA and fingerprints? Wren couldn’t find anythin’ on you besides a handful of passport photos.”He scans the case files until he finds the DNA analysis. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. There’s nothin’ there. Just your name, date of birth, and prints.”
“That’s not my birthday.” The words escape before I think them through, and almost immediately, I shake my head. “At least…I don’t think it is.”
With his brows drawn together, Ronan turns to me. “You don’t know your birthday?”
I need more tea. Or some air. Anything to escape this conversation. In the kitchen, I turn on the kettle and brace my hands on the counter. Ronan comes up behind me, winding his arms around my waist. “Talk to me, luv.”
“Papa left when I was eleven,” I whisper. “I don’t know my last name. Or if I have a middle name. He had…problems. I was too young to understand what they were, but I suspect either dementia, early-onset Alzheimer’s, or bipolar disorder. Some days he’d be fine. He’d get a part time job and we’d have a picnic at night under the stars. Or he’d come back to the shelter with new clothes for me and Oliver and a big smile on his face.”
A tear spills down my cheek, hovers over my jawbone, and then hits the counter with a splash so loud, it’s like a waterfall hitting the rocks from a thousand feet.
“We were a family.” My voice fades away, and I shatter into pieces so small, the world’s best puzzle master couldn’t put them back together again. I don’t remember sinking down to the floor, or Ronan folding me into his embrace. My eyes burn, but the real pain is in my heart.
Rocking me gently, Ronan makes soft shushing noises in my ear until my sobs turn to quiet sniffles and the occasional hiccup.
“The last birthday I remember,” I say, resting my cheek on his shoulder, “was in the spring. Maybe Papa made it up. He disappeared a month later.”
“When this is all over, you can pick a new birthday. Any day you want. And we’ll celebrate it every year.”
“We?” Another sniffle, and I meet his gaze.
“Yes. We. I’m not goin’ anywhere, Zephyr. Last night meant somethin’ to me. I care for you. More than I should after knowin’ you for less than two days. I’m not walkin’ away once we take down the cartel. Not unless you ask me to.”
I can’t give him the answer he wants. Not even the oneIwant. I can’t tell him I care for him too. That he’s the kind of man I think I could fall in love with one day. All I can do is nod and let him hold me.
Chapter Sixteen
Ronan
The strongest womanI’ve ever met sobbing in my arms? Nothing in my life has ever made me feel so helpless. Not even getting shot protecting Mikayla.
With an arm around her waist, I guide her into the bathroom and start the shower. Zephyr leans against the counter, her eyes holding none of their usual fire.
“Family isn’t just the one you were born with,” I say, unsure if I’m helping or hurting as we strip down and step under the spray. “My mum has three kids. But my brother and sister? Their da died three years before I was born. I was…an accident. Mum slept with a man on the third date, and the condom broke. He didn’t stick around. Ciara and Cody were a good ten years older than me, and I always felt like the outsider. Mum had to work three jobs to keep us fed, and I grew up…alone, really.”
Spilling shampoo into my hands, I start massaging Zephyr’s scalp, and the sound she makes? Something between a sigh and a moan? My dick takes notice.But this moment between us is too important, and I can’t—Iwon’t—let my desire for her come before the connection we’re building, so I continue working the suds through her hair.
“After I left the army, I mucked about for a few years, but never found anywhere I thought I fit in. Until I came to Boston.”
“A city isn’t a family,” Zephyr says, her voice so soft, I have to strain to hear her over the water.
“No, but Second Sight is.” Angling her so the massaging shower head hits her tense shoulders, I lean in for a long, tender kiss. Zephyr is fast becoming my family too, but she’s not ready to hear that yet. “Dax gave me a job with only a single interview. I’d met him when I was deployed, and he said he could tell I had the instincts for the job. I didn’t believe him, but what did I have to lose?”
Staring at me like I asked her the daftest question in the world, she arches her brows. “I don’t know, mate. Whatdidyou have to lose?”
Laughing, I switch places with her so I can wash my own hair. “Good point. The answer was nothin’. I didn’t want to go back to Ireland, and I needed a job to stay in the U.S. Took a few months, but the men and women I work with started to become a family to me.”
“Alex used to say our family was stronger than any blood relations.”
Fuck me. A tidal wave of sadness pulls Zephyr under, and she stares at the water swirling down the drain.
“I’m makin’ a mess of this,” I mutter.
