But he hasn’t kissed me once. Not really kissed me. Chaste brushes of his lips to my cheek or forehead. That’s it.
I know why. He doesn’t want to hurt me. But I need this—need him—more than anything.
So I cup the back of his neck, pull him in, and press my lips to his. It’s gentle. Not too deep. A connection. A tether to help us find our way out of this darkness.
We’re both breathing a little harder when we draw back, and Graham’s eyes are full of so much uncertainty, it breaks my heart.
“Darlin’, I can’t go back to that bench. That’s where he found me. He had everything all ready. The van. The drugs. Dennis. It only took two minutes.”
“Fucking hell. I should have been there.” He rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry—”
“No, Graham. No.” I reach for him, not certain I can sit up on my own yet. Not without a hell of a lot of pain, but he slides his arm behind my back and arranges the pillows so I have some support.
Staring down at my hands, all I can see are the reddish abrasions from the cuffs. “You can’t protect me every minute. No one can. Just like I can’t make sure you’re safe when you go out on a mission. If you’d been in town? Alec just would have waited until I was alone. Until you went to the store or the coffee shop or to the Unicorn.”
“I know. Rationally, Iknowthat.” He scrubs his hands over his face, four days of stubble rasping along his palms. “All I could think—the whole time—was how you’d just started taking your life back when that asshole stole it again.”
“Tried. He tried to steal it. And you stopped him.” Tangling my legs with his, I fold him into my embrace, realizing I can comforthimfor a change. “Darlin’, I haven’t even begun to process what happened. I don’t know how, but I’m damn sure it’s not going to be good when I do.”
Graham tightens his arm around my waist and presses a kiss to my collarbone.
“Right now, it feels like a nightmare. In a few days...it’s going to be a hell of a lot more real. But so is this.” I lean down to brush my lips to his. “Us. Alec took my choices away. He drugged me and tied me up and locked me in a windowless room where I thought I was going to die.” My voice cracks and a bit of the reality seeps through the bubble Graham’s apartment gives us. “But every time I wanted to give up, to stop fighting and let go, I thought about you. And how much I wanted to be with you again. About how much...I love you.”
Graham sits up straighter, and when our gazes collide, we’re both a little teary. “Did you—?”
“I love you. That’s what I wanted to tell you on that bench.”
He surges forward, and this time, the kiss is anything but tame. It’s raw, desperate, full of passion, but also something else. Something deeper and more important than anything else in this world.
“I love you, Q. I was going to tell you when I got back. Because I don’t ever want to leave on a mission again without you knowing I have the best reason in the world to come home.”
We cry a little—or, he cries a little, I sob almost uncontrollably for a good five minutes. And when I finally stop,thatkiss...it leads to so much more.
Epilogue
One month later
Graham
“Are you sure about this, baby?”
Q holds my hand, his fingers tight around mine outside Broadcast Coffee. The shop is only two blocks from our condo downtown, and thanks to West and Cam’s housewarming gift of a new espresso machine, we’re now both hopeless coffee nerds.
He presses closer to me. “No. But if I can do this, I can handle dinner tonight.”
The morning rush is over, though there are at least ten people inside at the tables, working or chatting with friends. Q’s terrified of crowds, but after we rescued him from his asshole ex, something changed.
He could barely walk for two days, so we spent most of the time in bed or on the couch watching movies, talking, and playing with Clementine. Once he’d felt steady enough to shuffle slowly with my arm around his waist, he’d asked me to take him outside.
“Are you sure?” I cup his cheek, the bruise under his eye still dark purple in spots, but now tinged with yellow around the edges. “You know I’ll love you no matter what, right?”
Q nods and though his smile feels forced, he straightens his shoulders and covers my hand with his. “I can’t let him steal another day from me, Graham. I’ve missed out on so much. Feeling the sun on my face. Seeing the cherry blossoms. I’ve even missed the rain. Some of this I need to do on my own. You can’t magically heal me. Or take every step with me. But today, I just want to be able to tell you I love you outside. In the sun.”
I hold the door open, and Q takes two steps across the threshold. Today’s a good day—physically—and he didn’t even need his cane.
“You want me to order?” I keep my voice low, letting him take the lead if he wants.
“I can do it. But stay with me?” Reaching for my hand, he links our fingers.
