But after West, Raelynn, and Inara jump and it’s just me and Ry left, he meets my gaze. Even through his goggles, I can see the strain in his eyes. He doesn’t like this any more than I do.
With a nod, I follow the rest of my team, a canopy of dark green trees below us and nothing but the early evening sky above.
* * *
Quinton
After Graham left, I stretched out in my massage chair and tried to figure out why he would want me. Why he kept coming back every time I pushed him away.
The answer hit me like a punch to the gut. We fit. I pushed him away time and time again because I expected him to suddenly turn into Alec. But he won’t. Because he’s more than just a good man. So much more.
Graham gives me hope. That maybe I can be more too. More than a victim. More than an agoraphobic, weak, terrified shell of a man. That maybe…I can be as brave as he is.
I spend most of the day making minor tweaks to Zen Oasis, but now, my back is telling me I need to move. Clementine’s been pestering me for more food, so I fill her bowl with kibble and head for the treadmill.
Less than five minutes into my workout, I stop the belt and grab my phone. This is ridiculous. I made it all the way down the ramp this morning with Graham. I can do it again. It’s still light outside.
As brave as IthinkI am, my balance is still shit, so I fish a cane out of the closet.
Just in case.
I hate the damn thing, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than the walker. “I’ll be back in ten minutes, sweetie,” I say when the kitten parks herself in the middle of the hallway and stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You’ll be fine.”
Despite my assurances, she gives me a long, plaintive meow as I flip the locks then start laughing before I get the door open. I’ve never needed my house keys before. I’m surprised I even know where they are, but after a few minutes, I find them in the junk drawer in the kitchen.
The sun’s starting to go down, and the townhouse casts a shadow halfway across the street. Everything’s quiet. It’s way too early for the spillover from the bars to be anywhere around.
I’m safe. And for once…almost steady. Last night changed me in ways I never imagined possible. Alec doesn’t control my life anymore, and while I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself completely for not seeing through his lies from the beginning, I knowexactlywho he is now.
At the bottom of the ramp, I look up and down the street. It’s quieter to the right. There’s even a little community park on the corner. Only a single bench with one tall oak tree behind it, but that tiny oasis represents everything I’ve missed since the accident.
Freedom. Peace. The simple joy of sitting outside in early fall enjoying the fresh air.
One step at a time. Past the vague greenish outline of mint chip on the flagstones. To the fence. Through the gate.
Anxiety twists in my gut, but I take a deep breath and will it away. I can do this. With my phone in one hand and the cane in the other, I reach the end of my little yard. It’s all of ten feet from the house, but it feels like ten miles for how big of an accomplishment this is.
My left leg wobbles, sending my heart rate shooting skyward, but I don’t fall. “You’re almost there, Q. Twenty, thirty more steps.”
I’m going to text Graham from that bench and tell him what I should have told him this morning. What I almost told him. That I’m falling in love with him.
Alec used to tell me he loved me ten times a day or more. So often and with such fervor, I started to say it back even though every time, the words took another piece of my soul with them.
With Graham…they don’t. My little slip up this morning? As soon as I caught myself, I felt the difference. Loving Graham? It won’ttakeanything from me. It’ll give me back the one thing I didn’t realize I’d lost. Hope.
Ten more steps. A bird perched on the back of the bench takes flight when it sees me, and for a moment, my eyes burn at how much life I’ve missed this past year. One of the local tech companies offers an app that changes my phone screen to a different Seattle photo every day, and I’ve seen how beautiful this city is. But this is the first time I’ve experienced it for myself.
When I reach the bench and ease myself down, my legs are shaking. So are my hands. But I unlock my phone and spend a full two minutes finding the right angle to capture my legs, the bench, and the grass all at the same time.
“I’m slow as fuck. But when you get back, give me ten minutes’ notice, and I’ll meet you on this bench. I have something important to tell you, and I want to do it right here.”
I end the message with a heart emoji, then add a second and a third for good measure before I hit send. It’s sappy and geeky and probably overkill, but I’m just so damn happy I’m floating.
The snap of a twig startles me, and my cane falls to the ground. Before I can pick it up, a shadow falls across my legs. “He’s a scrawny one,” a voice I don’t know says with a heavy Texas drawl.
Snapping my head up, I frown. I know this guy. Blond hair. Beard. He saw me the other day. Was watching me.
Something cold and sticky presses to my neck, and a hand covers my mouth. Alec’s stale breath ghosts over my cheek from behind me. “I’ve missed you, Quint. It’s time to go home.”
