“Quinton. I like it. Do you ever go by Quint?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer. “So…what about it? I know a place. Quiet. Intimate. Drinks that are onlymoderatelyoverpriced. What do you say?”
With a little shake of my head, I take a step back. “I can’t, Alec. I’m sorry. I’m not in a good headspace right now.”
Stupid, Q. He’s hot, he seems nice, and you haven’t had a real date in six months.
Alec’s smile fades. He pulls out a business card, leans forward, and tucks it into my pocket. “Well, if you change your mind…give me a call. I’ll miss seeing you in the elevator.” He backs away, watching me the whole time until he reaches the building’s front doors. “Always did enjoy the view.”
* * *
“Alec, I need to work tonight.”
I try to infuse what I hope is some finality into my tone as he plops down beside me.
We’ve been dating for a month, and I’ve barely touched my app at all. Between the drive to Plano and back for that soul-sucking call center job and all the texting, video chats, and “hey, just come over for an hour” visits that turn into all-nighters, Alec has become a constant presence in my life, and I don’t have space to think, let alone get any work done.
“Aww, come on, Quint. It’s been a hell of a day. I need to relax with you. Besides, I rented that documentary on Mars we talked about the other day and we only have twenty-four hours to watch it.” He slides his hand down my arm and links our fingers. “We can order Thai, then after the movie, we can try those new cuffs I picked up the other day. And maybe the blindfold too.”
My dick juts painfully against my khakis, even though my anxiety flares at the same time. But Alec keeps saying this—bondage—will be good for me. For my panic attacks, claustrophobia, and social anxiety. A way to find some peace. And fuck, do I need that.
“I guess I can take one more night off.” I press a firm hand to his chest and look him I the eye. “But tomorrow, I’m going straight home after work.”
Alec tugs me closer and grabs my ass. “If you’re going to leave me all alone on a Friday night, Quint, you’d better make it up to me over the weekend.” There’s an edge to his voice that gives me chills—and not the good kind—but before I can process why, he kisses me, and I forget what I was worried about in the first place.
* * *
A five-car pileupon the way home means my solitary Friday night is a hell of a lot shorter than I planned. It’s well after seven by the time I unlock my apartment door, only to find my brother and Alec sitting on the couch, heads bent towards one another.
I know my brother isn’t gay, so the alarm bells ringing in my head have nothing to do with their proximity.
Connor jumps up when I shut the door. “Quinton. Finally. We were worried.”
He offers me a quick, one-armed hug, but my stare is glued to Alec. “I told you I had to work on my app tonight. And that key was for emergencies only.”
“See?”Alec mouths to Connor, and I take a step away from my brother. “Thisisan emergency. We’re worried about you, Quint. All you do is work and obsess over that damn app. You’re going to make yourself sick. Or end up having a breakdown.”
This again. It’s been an ongoing theme since I started my new job.The breakdown.But it’s not like I have a choice. I have to work. No matter how stressful it is.
“Look, I know the Plano commute isn’t ideal, but it’s what I have right now. And I don’t ‘obsess’ over the app. It only feels that way because you want to hang out every single night and that doesn’t leave me any time to work on it.” Turning to my brother, I arch my brows. “Why are you even here? It’s not Christmas or my birthday.”
Connor and I aren’t close. Never have been. He’s twelve years older than I am, and while he’s a stand-up guy, he joined the army when I was six. He’s out now—some government job he doesn’t talk about—and other than special occasions and family dinners every six months or so, I haven’t seen him in years.
“Alec called me. You look like you haven’t slept in a month. And your place...” Connor sweeps his hand around the room. “I’ve never known you not to be a neat freak.”
The apartment is a mess. Clean clothes strewn over one half of the sofa because I’m never home long enough to fold and put them away, a fine layer of dust everywhere...and I don’t want to look in my fridge. I was planning on ordering pizza tonight. Alec only lives ten minutes away, and he’s always insisting I come tohisplace rather than hang out at mine.
“He-lll-oo?” I draw out every syllable, as if that’s suddenly going to make my argument more logical. “That’s why I told Alec I needed a night to myself. So I could clean up a little, do some coding, and go to bed early.”
“You love the time we spend together, Quint. You don’t need a night alone to relax.” Alec’s overly patient tone grates. For once—just once—why can’t he listen to me?
“Yes, I do!” I’m almost in tears now from the frustration of having this fight over and over again, and shit. I haven’t cried in so long...not since Dad’s funeral.
Sidling up next to me, Alec drapes his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. “Don’t shut me out, Quint. Please. I can help you through this.”
“Through what?” I’m afraid to ask. The look in Connor’s eyes? The pity? The concern? I’ve never seen him like that before. Never felt so...out of control and uncomfortable in my own skin.
Alec’s lips brush mine, and all the harsh words, the personality so big it feels like it takes up the entire room, they melt away, and it’s just the two of us. Me, the guy who can’t get his life together and the man who night after night, orders our meals, rubs my back, and never fails to make sure I’m satisfied in bed.
Which is why his response hurts more now than it ever has before.
