“Take him to my bed. Now.”
Farren gave herself one minute to let her tears fall. One minute to break down and let her failure swallow her whole. She shut the front door quietly, then turned to find Caitlin at the bottom of the stairs.
“Don’t just stand there. Ya’ said ya’ could help Eli,” Farren snapped.
“I’m goin’ to help you so thatyoucan help Eli.”
She snorted and tried to bypass Caitlin. There was no helping her. She was a terrible alpha, a worse mate, and a shite friend. The air elemental snagged her arm, and Farren growled. “Let go.”
“No. I’m not a wolf, Farren. Even if I were, I’m not yer pack. So ye’re goin’ to listen to me for all of two minutes, and then ye’re goin’ to go up there and tell that man you love him.”
“He’ll have to wake up first.” She swallowed her sob and jerked her arm from Caitlin’s grip. “I never should have let him try that casting.”
“That wasn’t yer choice, luv. It was Eli’s.”
It didn’t matter that Caitlin spoke the truth, or that Farren knew it. If the air elemental had the answers to life itself, it still wouldn’t fix what was broken inside of her.
“Farren? Look at me. Please.”
The last word swayed her, and she raised her eyes. Regrets etched small lines around Caitlin’s mouth, and tears glistened on her cheeks. “I know what it’s like to blame yerself. It doesn’t go away no matter how many times the man ya’ love tells ya’ it’s all right. Liam will have that limp—that terrible scar on his leg—for the rest of his life. And it’s my fault. He was taken because of me. Tortured because of me. He almost died. Because of me.”
“Almost. I got Colin, Brian, and possibly Abagail killed.”
“No. Ya’ didn’t. I did.” Caitlin faced off with Farren, her blue eyes dark as night. “Ya’ want to play that game, Farren? Ye’ll lose. Every time. I’ve enough blood on my hands to bathe this whole countryside in it. I live with that pain every feckin’ day. And still…Liam loves me. Accepts me. Forgives me. Because that’s what mates do. That’s whatfamilydoes. So when ya’ go up there and tend to Eli, remember that. He loves ya’. I’d bet my life on it. And I know ya’ love him. So get out of yer own head andtell him that.”
Caitlin took a step back, dashed away a tear, and gestured up the stairs. “He’s waitin’ for you. Go.”
* * *
Tierney stoodsentry just inside her bedroom door. “What can I do?”
“Leave us alone.” She didn’t spare the most loyal member of her pack more than a quick glance before climbing onto the bed next to Eli and taking his hand. Tierney had stripped off her mate’s burnt jeans and covered his battered body with a sheet. Before the boy made it more than three steps, she called out, “Go get a couple of bottles of water, the good whiskey, and a handful of protein bars? Then see if there’s anythin’ ya’ can do to help Caitlin scry for Mara.”
“Aye. I will.” Tierney stopped with his hand on the door knob. “He’s strong, Farren. He’ll come back to ya’.”
“Did ya’ hear that?” she asked Eli when they were alone. “Ya’ have to come back to me. Understand? I don’t want to live without ya’.”
He didn’t stir, and she slid lower, resting her hand over his heart to feel the slow, not-quite-steady beat.
“I should be angry at ya’ for even tryin’ that feckin’ spell. And I warn ya’, Eli, when ya’ wake up, I will be. But until then…I’m not. Ya’ were so brave, luv. And even when it all went sideways, ya’ were so strong.” His skin held little warmth, and Farren pulled the blankets up to cover them. “There’s somethin’ I want to tell ya’, but I can’t. Not until I can look ya’ in the eyes. Ye’re my mate, but what I feel for ya…it’s more than just that. Ye’re everythin’ I never thought I needed. Or wanted. And if ya’ could wake up for me…”
Tears stung her eyes, and she reached up to stroke his hair, run her fingers through the thick locks all the way back to his ear.
Tierney slipped into the room carrying a tray and set it on the nightstand before disappearing just as quietly as he’d come.
“I broke out my best bottle of whiskey for ya’. The one I don’t share with anyone unless it’s a very,veryspecial occasion. Like ya’ wakin’ up.” Her words caught in her throat, and she buried her face against his neck. Hot tears spilled over, and she let herself break. For Eli. For Colin. Brian. For everyone she’d failed in her life.
It didn’t matter that she was an alpha. It didn’t matter how strong she was or how powerful her wolf could be. In this moment, she cared about nothing but seeing her mate’s smile one more time.
* * *
Eli
The darkness trapped him like a shroud. Silent, oppressive, and deathly still. He couldn’t move. Was he dead? No. Everything hurt. Even his hair. His fingernails. His dick. There wouldn’t be this much pain in the afterlife. Right? Unless his first headmaster had been right and Eli had ended up in Hell.
His heart was beating though. He felt it in his ears.
Not dead, then.
