The sound he made was almost a snort. “I did think it odd that neither Mara nor Caitlin shook my hand when we met.”
“They won’t touch another man unless they have to. After a year or so, we get a mite less...testy.” Even now, the idea of him with another—man or woman—made her skin prickle with heat and her wolf growl deep inside. But she had no claim on him yet.
Footsteps thudded on the stairs below her bedroom, and Farren sighed. “The rest of the house is wakin’ up.” Her stomach rumbled, and she realized just how hungry she was. “And I need to eat. Are ya’ ready to see what the day holds?”
“No.” Staring down at his chest, he traced one of the bolder lines on his skin. “The very idea of touching that book again... But I have to.”
“Eli—“ If he didn’t want to take on more pain, she’d make sure he didn’t have to. The intense need to protect him, to care for him was like nothing she’d ever felt before, stronger even than her desire for him.
“Don’t,preciosa.I have a role to play here. Of that, I’m certain.” He cupped her cheek, and she bit down lightly on his thumb until he shot her a look that sobered her instantly. “And I want us to be free. Not from each other, but free to choose one another. Not because we’re forced together, but because wewantto be together.”
The lump in her throat made speech impossible, but she nodded. This man was too good for her, and yet, he was here. In her bed. If he needed to be free in order to see they were meant for each other, then she’d make damn sure he was free. Today.
* * *
After breakfast,where Eli gaped at the sheer amount of bacon piled high on a platter alongside tall stacks of pancakes, more donuts, and several kilos of fruit salad, Farren leaned against the door jamb in her office while Caitlin and Tierney argued about what page of the book to focus on next.
“This is the page that’s changed the most,” Caitlin said. “Don’t ya’ remember? Last week, the sigils shifted every few hours.”
“If they’re changin’ that much, they’ll be harder for Eli. Physically.” This, from Tierney, had Farren’s back stiffening.
Eli held up his hand. “As the one suffering here, perhaps I should be making the decision? We start with the worst of it. I don’t want to be dreading this page all fucking day.”
Before anyone could respond, he rested both palms on the parchment, and closed his eyes. “Do it.”
Caitlin placed the pendant directly over its twin symbol inked on the corner of the page.
Farren couldn’t look away and had to force herself to breathe. Eli’s entire body went rigid, and a low, agonizing sound rumbled in his throat. The sigils on the page started to move, twisting and turning, finally starting to spin around his hands.
The vortex on the page sped up, and her mate’s body started to tremble, then shake so violently, she sprang to his side and wrapped her arm around him to keep him upright.
Power, more than she’d ever felt, more even than the pendant had absorbed on the beach, almost knocked her back, but she held on and let her wolf rise to the surface. Her skin tingled and rippled slightly. She warned her beast to stay just below the surface. She needed her human form to steady Eli, to be able to put a stop to this forcefully if it didn’t end in the next few seconds.
When he collapsed against her with a groan, she half carried him over to the small couch in the corner of the room. “Eli, luv. Can ya’ hear me?”
His cheeks had paled, and sweat dotted his brow. “Mine,” he whispered as his head lolled against hers. “Mine.”
Was he talking about her? Or something from the book? “Mo cuishle?”
The Irish words for my pulse—my heartbeat, my heart—came so naturally, she didn’t even realize she’d said them until out of the corner of her eye, she saw Caitlin elbow Tierney in the ribs. “I told you,” the air elemental hissed.
“Shut it. Both of ya’.” Farren had no patience for banter or ribbing. Not when her mate still hadn’t stirred. “Eli, look at me.”
“Need...a minute,” he managed. Fumbling for her hand, he laced their fingers and let out a heavy sigh. “Worst one. By far.”
“If touchin’ the feckin’ book doesthisto him, we have to find another way,” Farren said sharply, pinning Caitlin with a stare that was almost all wolf. “He can’t keep doin’ this.”
“I have to. Don’t ask me how I know, but I’m certain it’s the only way.” Eli’s eyes were bloodshot and shining when Farren turned to him, but he offered her a weary smile. “There are only half a dozen more pages with the Tree of Life symbol on them. I can do this, Farren. For all of us. Just need to rest a bit in between.”
If she had to watch him suffer six more times, she’d go mad. Shame, such a familiar emotion to her these days, crept up the back of her neck. One more person in her life she couldn’t protect. How could she call herself an alpha? Or ever hope Eli would want her as a mate if she kept failing him?
“I can’t...” Easing her hand from his, Farren rose, her legs shaking. “I can’t be a part of this. Eli, please.” She’d beg if she had to. Even if it was the least alpha thing she could possibly do. If it kept him safe...
Pushing to his feet, Eli straightened his shoulders, shuddered once, and stared her down. “This is my destiny, Farren. Mate or not, you don’t get to tell me what I can or cannot do.”
“Bloody hell, ye’re all mad. I can’t stop ya’. Ye’re not a wolf, not my pack. Even if ya’ are meant to be my family. My wolf has no power over ya’ beyond whatever ya’ feel for me. If ya’ insist on endurin’ more pain...don’t expect me to watch.” Turning to Tierney, she glowered at the young man. “I’m orderin’ ya to keep him safe. Whatever it takes. Understand?”
“Farren, you have to believe we’d never let anythin’ happen to Eli.” This, from Caitlin, sent her wolf begging to be released.
