“If I knew, I’d tell you. The book and I are...linked somehow. This happens when I touch certain pages, certain symbols.” Eli shook his head. “Hurts like a fucking branding iron. We were just about to stop for the day. I can’t take any more.”
“Any more? It’s one symbol. Does it keep rewriting itself?” She traced the sigil with a finger, and only then realized Eli had changed since this morning. He’d put on a button down flannel shirt, one she recognized. “Why are ya’ wearin’ Liam’s shirt?”
Eli stepped back, and the loss of his touch intensified the ache in her core. Until he loosened one button after another and dropped the shirt to the floor.
There wasn’t a curse strong enough for the sight. His chest was covered in the dark ink. Sigils, yes. But runes as well. And other symbols she didn’t recognize. “I don’t know what’s happening, or why. But Caitlin thinks I can use what’s in the book...the parts that transfer to my skin, to become the last element. Or at least channel it.”
This was too much. Farren snagged the flannel from the floor and threw it at him. “I refuse to believe thatmy mateis spirit. Caitlin’s wrong. Ya’ can’t be.”
“And why not?” Eli asked. “I don’t want this any more than you do, Farren. But saying I can’t be? That’s a mite dismissive.”
Stop pushing him away.
Paddy’s words played on a loop in her head as she stared at Eli. His green eyes were brighter than they’d been just moments ago, burning with his ire, and shite. She wanted him like she’d never wanted anything or anyone else in her entire life.
“My room. Now.” Turning on a heel, she marched up the stairs to the third floor, and held her door open for Eli. Not out of any desire to be kind, but to make sure he made it all the way into the room so they could have some feckin’ privacy for what she had to say next.
“I deserve an apology,” he said once she’d shut and locked the door. “And an explanation.”
Farren wanted to rail at him. But he hadn’t buttoned the shirt, and the designs across his pectoral muscles were mesmerizing. She’d thought his body was magnificent before. Now...he was somehowmore.
“Do they hurt now?” she asked, softening her tone and placing her palm directly over his heart.
His chest heaved. “No. Only the memory of the pain is left. But I can’t touch that book again today.”
“Ya’ don’t have to. I’ll speak to Caitlin if ya’ need.”
“I can do that myself.” He covered her hand with his, holding on tight. “I meant what I said,preciosa. About the apology. And tack on an explanation. You ran away this morning so you wouldn’t have to talk to me. Now, you’re back and you’reangry.I need to know why.”
“Because if ya’ truly are spirit, how will we ever be safe together? The Thirteen will come for ya’. I never wanted a mate, Eli. I don’t deserve one. Not after everythin’ that’s happened. But here ya’ are, as good as dropped in my lap, and I don’t know how to react. How to get ya’ to stay with me or how to let ya’ go.”
“I don’t have any answers for you.” With his free hand, he twisted a lock of her hair and tucked it behind her ear, then cupped her cheek. “But all I wanted—this entire blasted day—was to talk to you.”
With that single sentence, he shattered the walls she’d so carefully built around her heart. She was an alpha. Even if she’d failed her pack, she couldn’t change who she was. Part of leading was knowing which battles were worth fighting, and which she should yield. “I’m sorry. Eliziam.”
“What did you call me?”
“That’s yer real name. At least I think it is. Ya’ weren’t born Eli Escobar. Yer true name is Eliziam.”
“Eliziam.” The way it rolled off his tongue confirmed her guess. It sounded so natural. So very muchhim. “Why would they keep that from me?”
“It’s unique. I imagine it would have led the Thirteen right to ya’.” They were still connected, her hand on his chest, and Farren tipped her head up to brush her lips to his. The contact sent need straight to her core, and Eli stifled a groan. “I can’t let them find ya’. Because if anythin’ happens to ya’, I don’t know that I’d survive it.”
He touched his forehead to hers with a sigh. “I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. That I feel this connection as strongly as you do.”
Farren tensed, ready to pull away, but Eli wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close. “I might. I honestly don’t know. Twelve hours ago, I was a different person. But...I want to know you, Farren. Can we just...talk? Alone? Can we...for an hour or two...pretend to be perfectly boring and get to know one another?”
“On one condition. I can’tnottouch ya’ right now. My wolf...she won’t stand for it, and neither will I.”
Eli scooped her up into his arms and in three steps, sank down with her onto the loveseat in the corner of her room. “Is this acceptable?”
“For the moment.”
He settled against the cushion and draped his arm around her shoulders. “I won’t let you go, Farren. I can’t promise you forever. Not yet. But I can promise you right now.”
* * *
Eli
