He positioned his cock at her entrance, and she noted the way his arm shook. She knew it wasn’t just because he was holding himself above her, but because he was fighting an inner battle. With a roar combined with outrage and disgust, he snarled, “I cannot.”
He started to pull away and Aislynn could not let that happen. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “No. I will not let your fears defeat you,” she whispered. She pulled back long enough to add, “I am not going anywhere.”
His eyes were tortured pools of dark oblivion. She ached at the pure anguish she saw there. “I do not want to hurt you.”
She shook her head slowly. “You will not. I know that in here.” She put a hand over her heart. “I was stupid to ignore it before, but no longer. I trust you, Cordell.” She leaned forward and kissed him in a long, drugging kiss that had her stomach fluttering with eager anticipation. “I want you. Please say you will not deny me.”
His eyes flashed. “I cannot seem to deny you anything. I am powerless to do anything but give in to you.”
He maneuvered them until she was straddling his lap. With harsh breaths, he set his cock at her entrance once more. She saw the hard workings of his jaw as he reconsidered his actions one last time. Something told her he knew that there was no going back after this. Once he’d had a taste of carnal pleasures, he would be insatiable. She just hoped that he would continue to be insatiable with her.
He nudged her core with the tip of his engorged cock and she forced herself not to gasp at the feeling of fullness, the intrusion of anyone else sharing her body. But as he continued to slide a bit further, inch by delicious inch, she realized that it was quite… satisfying. The friction it was creating was like nothing she’d ever experienced or considered before. It was nothing she could have ever imagined.
When he finally grasped her hips and slid her fully onto his shaft, she inhaled sharply when the barrier of her innocence gave way. She clutched his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin. She would have asked for a moment to acclimate herself to the abrupt feeling of invasion, but she saw the way sweat was breaking out on his forehead. It was a struggle for him to remain as still as he was. It was that thoughtful consideration that eased her pain, and she moved her hips. This time, he was the one who gave a hiss through his teeth. She could not tell if it was pleasure or pain, or perhaps it was a mix of both. He had held himself back from any such intimacies for so long that it was likely a bit shocking to experience it for the first time.
“Do that again,” he said harshly, his eyes hooded.
“What, this?” she said, moving her hips slowly forward and then backward.
His head fell back on his shoulders and she loved the way his neck muscles stood out in contrast to his slightly parted lips. It was as if two worlds were indeed combining. The past and the present clashing together. “God, yes.” He grasped on to her hips and began to move her himself. “Faster. I want more.”
She thrilled at the demanding tone of his voice. She was more than happy to please because the slight burning inside of her was licking out through the rest of her limbs. She could tell that something enticing was about to happen and she was eager to learn what it was.
No more words were spoken for a time. Cordell’s focus seemed to be riveted on her every movement upon him and she was quickly pulled beneath the waves of desire with him. Together they continued a rhythm that soon had them both breathing heavily and moaning in mutual satisfaction.
“I can’t take… much more,” he gasped.
Her nails bit harder into his shoulders. “Neither can… I.”
As the crescendo began to overtake Aislynn, she could tell that Cordell was about to lose himself as well. His movements were jerky, almost frantic, as he moved her furiously over his cock. It was the combination that sent her spiraling over the edge of another release. She could feel the tremors sliding through her body and flowing into Cordell. Her response must have made it too difficult for Cordell to bear because his control abruptly snapped.
With a hoarse shout, he seemed to tighten every muscle in his body, every beautiful cord bunched in perfect harmony, as he let go and spilled himself inside of her. She could feel the hot rush and she greedily took it all. She wished this moment could last forever, because she was concerned about what might happen when he realized what he’d done, but for now, she contented herself by watching the miraculous transformation on his face, as if he had just witnessed the angels in heaven sing before being returned to earth on their extravagant wings.
He should hate himself, despise his actions and the way he’d blatantly thrown away a solemn vow he’d made to himself years ago. It was best to allow people to believe that he was a libertine rather than become one in truth and take the risk of turning into his father, hurting those whom he might allow too close. And now he’d put Aislynn in even greater danger.
He was a wastrel, the worst sort of bounder. Yet he couldn’t quite summon the requisite amount of anger and resentment that he should be feeling. Instead, it was as though he had been granted a gift like no other. And considering the woman who was still cradling him inside of her, he supposed he had. They had shared a reserved moment and there was a sort of reverence to be had because of it.
He lifted a hand and touched the side of her perfect face. “Are you hurt?”
Cordell wasn’t expecting the breathy laugh that followed. “Hardly. If anything, I am quite content.”
A burst of masculine pride shot through him. “For a virgin, I suppose I could have done much worse.”
She gave a shrug. “It is not as though I had any previous expertise with which to compare it, but I would say it was highly satisfactory.”
Cordell was surprised to find himself smiling in spite of the reservations that wanted to rise within him. In truth, he felt as though he’d been set free, the chains around his heart falling away. “I could not agree more.”
He kissed her on the tip of her nose and although his cock might have been eager to have a repeat performance, he forced himself to leave her body. He walked over to a washstand in the corner of the room and found some linens and dipped it in the water. After he cleaned himself off, he gathered another rag and took it to her. “I apologize for the mess.”
She accepted the offering. “It is nothing more than what women have to deal with when it comes to their monthly cycles.”
“An excellent observation,” he murmured, and then returned to the washstand to allow her a moment of privacy. More than that, he wanted to clear his thoughts, to silence the demons that clamored at the edges of his vision that told him he had made a terrible mistake. He refused to allow himself the distraction of believing that anything he might share with Aislynn was in error. But it would take some time for him to accept it.
He turned around to find Aislynn looking at her ruined shift.
“I will buy you a new one. We shall go to Bond Street tomorrow.”
“Bond Street?” She shook her head. “There is no need for such extravagance. I am capable of returning to my usual seamstress for a replacement. I thought perhaps I could mend it but it is beyond repair.”
