Reaching out a hand, he grasped her chin lightly with his thumb and forefinger. “It isn’t just your body I intend to own. But your very soul.”
He saw her swallow. “You sound as if you are the devil preparing to drag me to hell.”
“I have been called as much,” he murmured, his head dipping toward her lips. “But I can assure you that you would find nothing but paradise in my arms.”
He held her gaze captive, his innermost thoughts temporarily revealed. For an endless span of time they didn’t speak, just looked into each other’s eyes, trying to ascertain what it was they wanted from this arrangement. Considering the awareness that swirled around them, it was obvious that they were both in agreement when it came to desire. Drake had no doubt that they would have a satisfying sexual relationship, but once he took that step, what then? He had dared to allow another woman the power over him and he’d nearly perished because of it. Although something told him that Miss Davies was different than her predecessor, he wasn’t going to rush into anything blindly, where he would be betrayed again.
One mistake was quite enough.
He didn’t wish to make another.
CHAPTER10
In anticipation of his kiss, Fleur’s lids fluttered closed and she held her breath. She didn’t know why she was so desperate for this embrace. Perhaps it was because of the dark promises that he offered her. Or that she was just as desperate for an ally in this sordid world. She wanted someone that she could trust, that she could dare to love.
But was that something she could even hope to gain from Mr. Porter?
Was it something she actuallywantedfrom him?
He moved away and her frustration rose to the forefront. It caused her to lash out at him. “You offer paradise, and yet, you only tempt me with the prospect, dangling it in front of me but never following through.”
His eyes flashed molten silver as he stepped back, so close that she could feel the heat emanating from his body and the tempest in his stare. “Do you really want to traverse this path, Miss Davies? Once you do, there is no turning back. Your virtue cannot be replaced and scandal is sure to follow.”
Fleur’s eyes filled with moisture until his face turned blurry. Angry at herself, she was the one to spin away from him. Hugging herself, she spat, “What does it matter any longer? What good is virtue if you don’t have anyone special to share it with? It’s not as if I had any suitors tearing down my door. I gave up everything—for Flavian, and now he can’t even rescue me.” She ended on a harsh sob, her heart breaking as she allowed herself to face the truth. If her brother was as honorable as she had tried to imagine he could be, he would have found some way for them to survive instead of allowing her to take all of their burdens on her shoulders. Her brother was the one person upon whom she believed she could always rely, but after years of sacrifice and letting time pass her by, he couldn’t be bothered to leave Harriette’s side.
She wanted to believe that Harriette was some sort of monster who had trapped him in her townhouse, but Fleur knew that wasn’t true. There was no dungeon in that townhouse, no evil spell that had been cast upon him. She worried for him, but she wondered if he was sparing a single thought for her. When she’d left for the auction, she had waited for him to forbid her to go, to promise that they would find some other way, but he had allowed it all, while he brooded about his shortcomings.
She remembered the last words he’d spoken to her, that some people weren’t worth redemption. It had cut her to the quick then, and it did the same now. She didn’t know how she’d allowed herself to failhim. She realized that he’d spoken the truth when he had called her a martyr for taking the fall for both of them.
Fleur put a fist to her chest, wondering if her very heart was breaking in half. The amount of guilt that she was carrying around inside of her was almost unbearable. It was bad enough that she blamed herself for Flavian’s faults, but after she had understood who had won the auction, she realized that she hadn’t been despairing of becoming a courtesan at all. She might have railed against it at first, mainly for her virtue’s sake, but from the first moment she’d met Mr. Porter in Greenwich, she had been intrigued. Her brother might believe that she had willingly given up everything when they had parted on sour terms, but Flavian didn’t know that she was willing—almosteager—to enact her new role with Mr. Porter. It felt like the worst sort of betrayal and she had no one to blame—but herself.
She suddenly felt as though the walls were closing in all around her. She couldn’t take a full breath and her hands were starting to shake. “I need to get out of here,” she whispered, and rushed for the door. Escape was within her grasp, and if she hoped to tell Flavian she was sorry for everything, she had to make an attempt to reach him.
She ran past the surprised housekeeper and threw open the front door. She flew down the steps and headed for Harriette Wilson’s house. Everything disappeared in a blur as she focused on her goal. She swiped at her face, the tears that were still flowing and making it difficult to see.
Other than when her parents had died, had Fleur given in to the impulse to cry. There were many times she came close to losing her composure, wondering how she was going to make it, but Flavian had always managed to keep her strong and steady. Without his calm assurance, and her sole purpose for working so hard, what did she have left?
She gathered her skirts and sprinted up the stone steps of the courtesan’s residence, the place she had come to for refuge only a few days before, and pounded her fist on the door, ignoring the brass knocker completely.
Her summons was answered in short order, the butler looking as though she had gone mad. Perhaps she had. She certainly didn’t feel in control of anything anymore and it was a helpless feeling. “I need to speak with my brother,” she urged.
He lifted his chin a notch. “I am afraid he’s out at the moment.”
He started to shut the door but she wedged her foot inside. “Then I will wait.” She shoved her way inside and ignored the shocked look from the servant which proved that he was lying. Rushing around the lower rooms, she called out his name. “Flavian!”
Everywhere she looked was empty, so she headed for the second floor. The butler was saying something behind her, but his words didn’t register as she started to inspect every room.
Her heart lodged in her throat, fearing that he was truly gone.
But then she tried one last door.
She skittered to a halt when she spied her brother in a compromising position—with Harriette.
Hearing the commotion behind her, Fleur started to back away, but it was too late. Her presence had been noted. Without bothering to cover her nakedness, Harriette’s chest was in full view as she offered a look of surprise. It was soon replaced with a sly smile. “Why, Miss Davies. We weren’t expecting company.”
“Fleur?” Her twin had seemed to come to his senses. He blinked at her. “What are you doing here?”
Her mouth opened but no sound emerged. What could she say? That she had expected something different from him? That perhaps he might have actually been concerned for her welfare, rather than enjoying himself as Miss Wilson’s current paramour? He certainly wasn’t being mistreated or suffering in the least.
