Suddenly, he didn’t feel nearly as idiotic as he had a moment ago. If doing this caused that broad smile on her face, then he was more than willing to oblige.
Seeing that he was willing to play along, she went so far as to throw her arms out wide and spin in a circle with uninhibited joy. The laugh that came from her made him stop and stare, spellbound by her magnetism. She exhibited a youth that he thought had perished in battle, but he was finding it bubbling back up inside of him, the devil-may-care rogue that he’d once been.
He started to laugh, and together, as the snow started to fall in earnest, they stood there amid the swirling flakes and had the time of their lives.
Until Miranda twisted her ankle.
She fell forward, and Anthony didn’t think, but rushed toward her and caught her before she could fully hit the ground, although they ended up on their knees. Her eyes were sparkling with life and exuberance, and Anthony quickly sobered. There was little to separate them. It would be so easy to lean forward and take her in his arms…
With a surge of apparent mischief, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.
He was lost.
Anthony didn’t heed the snow, the cold, or even their surroundings. Time itself seemed to stand still as he held Miranda in his arms. Never before had he felt so complete, so… whole. After Trafalgar, he wasn’t sure he would be able to overcome the torment that had become his constant companion, but with this woman at his side, nothing else mattered.
As Miranda’s eyes fluttered open moments later, he looked deeply into her enchanting, green eyes and whispered, “Marry me.”
Although she was still attempting to recover her equilibrium after their embrace, she had the wherewithal to pull away from him. She was shaking her head as she got to her feet. “Don’t say things that you don’t mean.”
He rose and started toward her, but she held out a hand. He stopped.
She turned back to him, tears glistening in those enchanting eyes now. It cut him to the quick. “You have no idea how long I yearned for you to return and say those words to me. For years, I waited, I prayed, I hoped, Idreamed, for that day.” She put a fist over her heart. “But when all those days turned into weeks, and then months, and eventually years, I started to realize that I didn’t need anyone in my life, that the only one I could truly depend on was myself. After coming to this conclusion, I wrote my first book, and found something that I could do to earn a respectable living, while remaining a spinster. I’ve learned one thing in all that time. I was a fool to have ever wasted so much time on a fantasy.” She straightened. “I’m not sure what you expected when you decided to join Jacob and our family this Christmas, but if it was merely to try and win my hand, I’m afraid you have wasted an endeavor. I’m content as I am and I won’t allow my harmony to be disturbed when you don’t truly know what it is you want.”
When she was finished, Anthony didn’t quite know what to say. He certainly wasn’t going to admit that he had reconciled with Jacob all those weeks ago in the hope that hemighthave a chance in winning Miranda’s hand. Of course, he should have known it wouldn’t be so simple as to say those two little words and she would come tumbling back into his arms. He had wounded her deeply. Those emotional scars tended to heal much more slowly than outward ones.
As far as claiming that he didn’t know what he wanted, perhaps there was some truth to that as well. When he’d seen Miranda again and she hadn’t shied away from his disfigurement, a brief bit of light had been spun in his soul. She had reminded him of what he’d been like in the days before he’d enlisted in the Royal Navy. But if she accepted his proposal, who was to say that they would be able to embark on a happily ever after? Nightmares still plagued his sleeping hours, and more than once he’d woken in the middle of the night with a scream on his lips and a blade clutched in his grasp without knowing how it had gotten there.
The harsh truth was that he might always be damaged. It wasn’t right of him to ask her to accept someone so broken.
“You’re right,” he said softly, although he didn’t choose to elaborate on that score. With his brow creased in a frown, he said, “We should be getting back.”
Chapter 9
Miranda was sitting in the hotel foyer, staring off into the distance when Elaine found her. “There you are.”
With a start, she turned to her sister with a smile as she set aside the painting she was supposed to be working on, but yet, was still a blank sheet of paper on her lap and nothing more. Not even a rough sketch. It was as if all inspiration had vanished. But it was no wonder. Anthony hadn’t come by the hotel for the past few days. It was Christmas Eve, and at this point, she wasn’t sure she would see him. Regret over their stilted parting still washed over her. She hadn’t meant to allow her emotions to take over, but again, she’d found herself speaking before she gave thought to her words. That was turning out to be quite a habit for her. At least, where Mr. Gravehill was concerned. Before Anthony had returned to her life, she had been capable of holding her tongue.
Withholding a sigh, she patted the empty seat of the settee. “You act as though I’ve been in hiding,” she teased lightly.
“Well,” Elaine said with a shrug. “You have been rather withdrawn for the past couple of days. I thought for sure that our shopping excursion the day before yesterday might have brightened your spirits, but even that failed to do so.”
“If you recall,” Miranda returned dryly, “you were the one who always demanded a new ribbon for her bonnet. I never particularly cared for such fripperies.”
“Yes, I do realize I’m the one who finds her weakness is a lovely watered silk,” Elaine said with a dramatic sigh. “But this is one Christmas that you’re going to be wearing something other than the drab half-mourning attire you insist on wearing.” She folded her hands together in her lap and announced, “I have ordered a new gown for you, and I am assured it shall be ready by this afternoon.”
“How do you know my measurements?” Miranda wondered.
“We’re nearly the same size. I took one of my gowns to the local seamstress earlier this week when you were spending time with Anthony, and she was able to create one specifically for you.”
Miranda had to applaud her sister’s quick thinking, but it did little to erase her melancholy. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Elaine, but truly, the only gift I need is sitting right beside me.” She reached out and took her sister’s hand in her own and gave it a slight squeeze. This time, she allowed the sigh from earlier to escape. “If only I could figure out a way to paint something worthy of note. Although this is a lovely scene—“ She waved her hand to indicate the window in front of her. “I can’t seem to gain the proper amount of enthusiasm for it, even now that it is covered in fresh, sparkling snow.”
Elaine regarded her steadily, and then she said, “Perhaps what you need is a change of scenery then.”
Miranda rolled her eyes. “And where do you think I might go?”
“It depends. Do you trust me?”
With a laugh, Miranda lifted a brow. “I suppose that depends on if you plan on leaving me somewhere in the wilderness.”
