After taking a few, calming breaths, Mara finally felt as though she could move without getting sick. She tried to stand, and although her legs were unsteady, she found her equilibrium and moved over to the window. She drew aside the heavy drapes and was surprised to find the sun was shining brightly. It was probably about mid-morning already.
A sound outside caught her attention, and she saw Lord Rockford and Mr. Andrews already on horseback, while Roarke mounted Abel and joined them. For a minute, all she could do was stare in disbelief as they rode off. Surely Roarke wasn’t leaving her after everything that had happened…
Dismally, she had to admit that it certainly looked that way.
Mara felt her eyes burn, even though they were still grainy from the tears she’d shed the previous evening at the loss of her sister. How could Roarke do this to her? Didn’t he know that she needed him?
Her hands clenched into fists. For weeks he’d been begging her to give them another chance at love, but now, when it should have mattered the most, he dared to abandon her! She was on the verge of throwing…somethingwhen her thoughts took an abrupt spin.
He left because he couldn’t forgive her…
And what if, after seeing Lily, all of Roarke’s anger was resurrected?
Perhaps the very idea of looking at Mara again repulsed him.
Mara covered her mouth with her hand before she shook her head. No matter the reasons, she knew she had to leave this place now. She couldn’t face Roarke again and have him look at her with loathing.
She couldn’t survive it again.
She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t disappear again without giving Roarke the choice to tell her to go, but the fact he’d just rode away without so much as a by your leave was a pretty good indication of his feelings. True, he might have claimed to love her, but that was all before this disastrous trip to Eversleigh Hall where everything was out in the open and words could never be unsaid.
Mara dressed quickly in her altered riding habit and packed what few belongings she’d brought in her valise. She scribbled a few lines on a sheet of paper, folded it, and wrote Lyra’s name across the top. As she headed downstairs, she heard a mixed murmur of voices coming from the dining room, but she put her head down and ignored them. She set the letter on the table in the middle of the foyer where she was sure one of the servants would see it and quietly walked out the front door.
She made her way to the stables and greeted Mr. Edwards. Of course, it was impossible to hide her valise, so she made up an excuse about visiting an old friend in the village as he put a saddle on Cloudy for her.
Afterward, Mara galloped down the drive until finally disappearing from view, leaving Eversleigh Hall and all its heartache behind in a cloud of dust.
* * *
“Are you sure it was a good idea to leave without saying anything to Mara?” Rion asked Roarke, as they threw a leg over their respective mounts. As promised, they had ridden over to the village gaol to file their individual reports with the magistrate.
“I would imagine she’s still abed,” Roarke returned. “Lyra assured me that she was sleeping quite soundly when she checked on her this morning, and the staff has orders not to disturb her.” He sighed. “I wanted to go to her myself, but I was afraid that my presence might upset her.”
Rion frowned. “How so?”
The viscount grimaced. “I haven’t been exactly…forthcoming with her of late. After she told me of her sister’s involvement in my father’s death, I was confused. I didn’t know how to put all my thoughts in order…”
“So you avoided her.”
Roarke clenched his jaw. There was no point in denying it when it was true. “Yes.”
The earl shook his head. “I hope you intend to make amends when we get back.”
“You could say that,” Roarke murmured. He turned to his friend, and admitted somewhat sheepishly, “I intend to marry her. While we were in the village, I had a little chat with the vicar.” With a pat to his coat pocket, he said, “I’ve been carrying around this special license so long I’m afraid it’s going to turn to dust. It’s time to use it.”
“So that’s where you disappeared to while I was filling out my statement,” Rion muttered. “So tell me, how will you manage to win back your fair maiden’s heart so that she’ll even agree to have you?”
“You don’t trust my charm?”
When Rockford merely snorted, Roarke grinned. “I should be wounded, but no matter.” His mouth turned down at the corners. “I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to earn Mara’s trust again. If I have to wait for her to absolve me of my lapse in judgment, then so be it. It might kill me in the process, but it will be worth it to know that no one can take her from me again.”
Rion reached over to pat his friend on the shoulder. “Sounds like a good plan to me. I couldn’t be happier for you, Roarke.” With a sigh, he said, “I’d like to stay until the vows are spoken, but I need to get back to my bride.”
“Trust me when I say, if the shoe were on the other foot, I would have no trouble leaving you for my lovely wife-to-be.”
After a good-natured laugh, the two men parted ways. Lord Rockford was meeting up with Mr. Andrews at the local pub and heading back to London, while Roarke returned to the Hall.
Roarke took his time getting back, allowing his horse to walk at a sedate pace. The sun was shining brightly and, for the first time in his life, he had a feeling of contentment. For years he’d been restless, searching for something that always seemed just out of reach. He’d always imagined the reason had been because he’d been mourning Mara’s supposed death, but now that he stopped to think about it, he wondered if it wasn’t more than that. When he’d been told his father had died from heart failure, there had always been a niggling doubt that there was something more just beneath the surface.
