***
Alyssa lay in bed, still awake long into the night as Travell’s unsettling statement kept running over and over in her mind. Surely it couldn’t be true, that the problem of commitment lied within her, when all this time she’d been convinced that Travell wasn’t capable of love?
She rolled onto her side, tucking her hands beneath her cheek as she stared into the embers of the low burning fire in the grate. It was true that after her father’s death at such a young age, and without even knowing her mother,the losshad been devastating. She knew if it hadn’t been for her aunt’s calm, loving presence that she would have fallen apart.
As the yearshadpassed, Alyssahad cometo rely on Lady Alwan more and more. They had settled into an easy routine, and for a time, Alyssa believed thatall was well. And then tragedy stuckyetagain. Pearlhad started to feel sick, so they had traveled to Bath to test the healing remedy of the waters, but when that failed, they’dreturned to London.
Alyssa had kept trying to tell herself that her aunt was suffering a temporary malady that would soon pass. The day she’d died, Alyssa had been by her side, holding her hand as silent tears streamed down her cheeks. WhenPearltook her last breath, Alyssa had broken down—alone. There was no one there to comfort her this time. The funeral had been an equally dismal affair, taking place on a rainy Monday morning where only James, Caroline, and the vicar were present.
It had been Alyssa’s wish to have a small, private ceremony, but she imagined that her cousin and his wife might have been a bit more considerate. As it was, the moment the brief service was at an end, they’d acted as though they had suffered a great chore and were relieved it was over.
“I’m sure London has its delights,” James had said in the carriage. “But I daresay, now that my duty is done,I’m ready to return home.”With that, he’d withdrawn a silver flask from his pocket and took a hearty drink.
“Oh, couldn’t we just take a quick peek on Bond Street?” Caroline had pleaded.
Alyssa recalled wanting to shout at them, to demand that they show a little respect toward her recent loss, for not only had she lost her precious aunt, the only mother figure that she’d ever known, but her entire livelihood had been ripped away. She was forced to leave everything familiar behind in London and return to the place that only brought back more dark memories.
But it was apparent thatneitherJames nor Caroline wereconcerned with her despondency. Nearly the moment they’darrived at Breyton Hall, Caroline had started in on her desire to see her in something other than those“terrible black weeds.”When Alyssa had refused, the nickname of“Little Mouse”had been bestowed upon her.
That was when she’d started spending most of her time out of doors, taking long, solemn walks and crying in solitude.
And then a miracle had happened. She had crested the top of a hill andseenthe Abernathy carriage. When Travell had stepped out, her heart hadleapedin her chest, for this was answerthatshe’d been praying for.
Or so she’d thought.
She sighed, and then rolled onto her back. The truth was shehadbeen keepingher distance from Travell.She’d tried to tell herself that it was merely because she hadn’t wanted to compromise her reputation. Buthonestly, she’d just been waiting to see if he would declare his love for heras that was all she’d ever truly wanted from him.
Giving up any pretense at sleep, she threw the covers off, and shoved her arms intoher dressing robe. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly one in the morning, but sinceshe was wide awake, she decidedtogo to the kitchens, where perhaps a cool drink of water would help to tame her restless mind.
She was walking down the hall when she heard a strange thump coming from the earl’s bedchamber. Curious, she changed direction and headed for Lord Trenton’s room to make sure all was well. There was a chair outside the earl’s chamber, but the footman assigned to watch over himwasn’t there. Fearing that something truly was wrong, she knocked on the door. After a moment and there was no answer, she pushed it open and walked inside.
She paused just over the threshold, blinking at the sight before her. Lord Trenton was fully dressed in all his finery, complete with waistcoat and an impeccably tied cravat. Hearing her enter, he turned and grinned at her. “My girl! I was just coming to fetch you.”
Alyssa swallowed. It appeared she was to beTrianaagain. She offered a light curtsy and said, “Hello, Papa.” She tilted her head curiously. “Where are we going?”
He chuckled. “Why, to the ballroom, of course. It’s your debut!”
“Yes, of course.” She smiled, knowing that the dance that was supposed to have taken place never occurred. He had left instead.
“Wemustn’tkeep the guests waiting!” He started for the door, stopping suddenly when he noticed her state of undress. “Why aren’t you dressed?”
Alyssa had to think quickly. “I’m nervous, Papa. I’m…afraid I shall embarrass myself.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be nonsensical. We hired the best instructors for you.”
“I know,” she demurred, as she took a step forward. “But…perhaps we might practice before we go downstairs?” Surely, if she kept the earl preoccupied for the span of the waltz, it would give the footman time to return to his post.
He frowned slightly, and then sighed heavily. “I suppose there’s no harm in that.” He wagged a finger at her. “But you will put on your gown directly afterward. You know your mother doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
“Yes, Papa.”
As they got into position, the earl smiled at heras kind and understanding as any father might have done, and then began to hum atune in his gentle baritone. Alyssa was actually a bit awkward as they begun, for it had been some time since she’d danced, but the steps eventually returned to her and soon, they were gliding across the earl’s spacious bedchamber as natural as if they had done it many times, instead of just this once.
Alyssa slowly began to relax and enjoy herself. Since her own father had died when she’d been a child, she hadn’t had the chance to experience this moment. For years she’d mourned his loss, but for this brief instant, she imaginedthat she was dancing with him, that she had the power to turn back the hands of time that had taken him from her too soon.
Tears stung the back of her eyes, but she forced them away. This wasn’t about her, but the earl and his effort to make amends to a daughter who had been spurned bythecruel twist of fate.Lord Trenton wasn’t her father, and she wasn’t Triana, but perhaps they needed these few, stolen minutes to fill the void that had left an emptiness in each of their lives.
When the dance finally came to a halt, the earl bowed and she curtsied as well as she could manage in a nightdress and dressing robe. “Thank you, Papa,” she whispered, a lump clogging her throat.
