Chapter 16
It was dusk by the time Cosette heard the unmistakable sound of an approaching carriage. After Davien had deserted her, cast her aside, she’d reluctantly returned to the Great Tower. She climbed to the top once more, and just sat there, looking out over the Dover Narrows, thinking about their current circumstances, and what she might be able to do to fix things. Unfortunately, their only lead, that voice calling to her about Paris, was no longer an option to explore. They couldn’t return to France without being arrested. Or worse.
Even if Davien had been able to recover Calmet’s book from the hotel, as much as she’d researched that volume, she had begun to realize that it was a dead end. She also didn’t want to admit that Davien was right, that he truly had investigated every source at his disposal and there really was no way to break his curse, but it was starting to appear that way.
She reached up and touched the chain of her locket. It had always helped her to comfort her, or solve problems in the past, but it would seem that old habits died hard. Now, it was only a reminder of what she stood to lose should that voice start to control her completely. She would be no better than Davien—a cursed woman with a future as bleak as her past.
She let her hand fall to her lap.
A black crow landed on the wall in front of her, cocking his head to observe her with those familiar, beady eyes. “Is it time to depart?” she asked.
For answer, it only cawed, before hopping off and flying away.
Cosette sighed, but she stood and climbed down, the lovely scenery of the day slowly fading, along with the dreams in her heart.
~ ~ ~
Cosette wondered if there was some sort of spell over the carriage, for it seemed as if they were back at Shadowlawn in just a few short hours in a journey that should have taken much longer. Then again, she likely slept for most of it. She’d been left to her own devices, for Davien had kept his feathered form. At times, she would see him sail past her window.
However, the moment the coach rolled to a stop, the duke was there in human form offering her a hand down. She considered ignoring his offer, but decided against it. There was no reason both of them should be unreasonable.
Inside, she went upstairs, and directly to her chamber. She walked over to her wardrobe and flung open the doors. As suspected, all of her things were back, placed in their perfect order. She stripped off the gown she was wearing and threw it over the back of a nearby chair. Her undergarments quickly followed. Someday soon she might just have a big bonfire to rid herself of those bad memories. Even though Davien had worked his magic to change her dress, she knew what it had looked like before that.
She walked over to the privacy screen where she knew a hot bath would be waiting, for the steam was already fogging up the windows. She dipped a cautious toe inside, and then quickly immersed the rest of her body. She took a deep breath and slid her head underneath to get her hair wet, and wondered, for the slightest moment, if she shouldn’t just stay there and allow herself to succumb to a watery grave, to finish what the voice had started the day she found herself at the edge of that pond.
At this point, she had nearly given up hope of ever finding Charlotte, and remaining as a prisoner at Shadowlawn wasn’t truly living, however much she might think of it as home now. So what else was there to live for? It was obvious she was a terrible mistress, for she couldn’t even seduce Blackburn properly. But the damage had already been done, any respectable door would be closed to her after this. There would be no more seamstress positions. She would be forced to sell her body to survive, the one thing she’d sworn never to do. But what options were left for a poor orphan with no family, no connections?
If nothing else, putting an end to it all would finally stop these terrible blackouts. Whenever she thought of those poor sheep she’d unknowingly slaughtered she thought, What if it had been a person instead, someone like that little boy? She wouldn’t be able to live with her conscious knowing that she’d murdered an innocent human being.
She opened her eyes under the water. She could see the elegant ceiling above her, but it was distorted, the clear ripples wavering in her line of sight.
It would be easy. Painless. If she just closed her eyes, let the water overtake her . . .
She couldn’t control anything in her life—except this. If she released the air in her lungs, she could end her suffering, end it all right now . . .
Cosette caught only a glimpse of Davien’s face, as his rough hands pulled her from the tub. She stood, naked and dripping all over the carpet at her feet, but his thunderous gaze didn’t waver from hers. But when he spoke, there was no anger, only an emotion so tortured and distraught that his voice was hoarse because of it.
“How could you even consider something so—” He broke off and tried again. “Don’t ever think of such things again. Do you hear me? I . . . need you, Cosette.” He lifted her into his arms. “And it’s time I showed you exactly just how much.”
~ ~ ~
The beast was moving inside of him. Davien could feel it, he could sense it, as if they truly had morphed into one entity. He had done everything in his power to keep this from happening. He’d reminded himself time and again to stay away from Cosette, to keep his distance. He’d even convinced himself that he had the control to do so.
Until tonight.
He’d left Dover Castle with the firm idea that he would take care of his needs himself, or else let the beast out to hunt, but when he heard Cosette’s dark thoughts, as clearly as if she was speaking directly to him, he knew he could contain his desire no longer. He absorbed her sadness, her loneliness, as surely as if it was his own, and that inner turmoil had torn his heart to shreds. In that instant, he knew he had to show her that she wasn’t alone, that someone did care.
He laid her down on her bed, drinking in the sight of her laid bare before him, as he stripped off his clothes. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, her breasts quivering. He continued past the concave of her stomach, the flare of her hips, resting momentarily on the curls at her center, before moving down a pair of creamy legs, the last of which he hoped to be wound about his waist very soon.
The moment his eager cock was revealed, jutting proudly from his body, he looked at Cosette to find her licking her lips in anticipation. He nearly groaned aloud, remembering the last time that delicious mouth had been near his member. No maidenly nervousness here.
Even so, he had every intention of being patient, to make sure that her first time was a pleasurable experience. He recalled what she’d told him about the priest from the orphanage. He wanted to erase all those memories from her mind and replace them with something genuine, something that contained . . . light, because that’s what she was-his light in the darkness.
The beast moved, shifting into position, but it didn’t consume him.
He covered her body with his.
~ ~ ~
