Elliot then asked about their visit to Stellenbosch, their penguin watch, the climb to Table Mountain, and then the weeks of harvest. Each time, he asked more about Caroline than anything else, and Sterling found himself answering, knowing full well that their mother had instructed Elliot what to ask, to make Sterling remember again, just as she had manipulated him into remembering an earlier, happier time for their family.
“Do not be like Father, Sterling,” Elliot said quietly. “If I were lucky enough to have found what you have, I would be fighting to win her back, even if it meant groveling and begging forgiveness.”
Sterling stared into his tankard of ale and knew that Elliot was correct, but it wasn’t so easy to return.
If he were to be honest, he was ashamed and afraid.
His mother’s scolding still rang in his mind and he could not help but to ask himself how far he would go to protect those he loved most?
Sterling did not like the answer that echoed through his mind. He would do anything, legal or not, and deceive if necessary.
He had never experienced the kind of love a mother, or even a father for that matter, would have for a child, but he was protective of his brothers.
And he remembered the panic when Livia stood before the cobra and he forced himself to remain calm as he instructed her on how to retreat, then the relief when she flung her little arms around his neck and cried.
Something had shifted inside him and he still could not identify what it had been, but it was a warmth and need to protect.
Sterling did not want to be like his father and he would argue that he was not.
“Do not be like Father and let pride and pain become your shield. The person who will suffer the most will be you.”
As his father had done, they only knew when he was deep in his cups and went on about their mother and that he had been wrong. He had erred and had lost her and it was too late.
“It is not too late for you and Caroline,” Elliot said almost as if he could read Sterling’s mind.
Unlike his father, he was leaving Caroline behind because she had deceived him and he feared that he could not truly trust her.
Except, in his heart, he knew that he could. She had only kept her secrets to protect her family. To protect Livia.
But for me, and Livia, I need you to prepare for a meeting with Wyndham. If you do not, there is a very good chance that you will be sacked. If that happens, you will never be able to work with the grapes again. You will not be able to tend the vines that Mother cultivated. They will belong to another. We might even be forced to return to England and you will not be able to visit Mother any longer. Do you understand me?That was what Caroline had been saying to her father when he walked into her home.
It wasn’t simply asking but begging him to do the right thing.
Her father had failed her.
If he sailed home without her, was he just as stubborn and idiotic as his father?
He did not want to turn into a bitter man. He did not want to make the same mistakes his father had. There was more to life than Trade Wynd and heirs.
Was it worth the risk?
Could there be forgiveness?
Could he trust again?
Did he want to live without Caroline?
“What if she is not honest with me again?”
“Do not put Caroline in a position that she must fear for the safety and security of her daughter and you will have no concerns,” Elliot answered simply.
She had only protected Livia, then her father, and lastly herself. There had been nothing malicious in her deception, only fear because she had lost everything once before and was afraid of losing again.
He was a bloody, arrogant fool.
He also understood why she hadn’t told him at first, and why it became difficult. If he’d had a secret that he held onto for so long…
He had. He knew that he was in love with her for two months before he told her. He had been too afraid because of rejection. She’d been too afraid because of what could be lost.
