“He is as stubborn and hardhearted as his father.”
He was not. No matter how he had treated her yesterday out of anger, she knew that he had changed, but it was likely only temporary and he would revert to who he had been once he was back in England. “Then perhaps it is best that it ended this way.”
It was something that she would need to tell herself in the days to come, especially during the long nights alone in her bed.
“Perhaps,” his mother agreed. “But I do not need to be happy about it.” She forced a smile. “But, now that my son is gone, I expect you, along with your brother and father to join me for dinner tonight.”
Caroline was fairly certain that she would have no appetite.
“I insist!”
“Yes, of course.” Perhaps by the time the dinner hour arrived she might be in better spirits, but it was unlikely.
Chapter Forty-Seven
When Sterling hadarrived at the ship and informed that captain that he was ready to leave, he was told that it would not be for another three days since supplies needed to be arranged and the sailors who had taken leave needed to be rounded up and brought back on the ship.
He had wanted to be gone—immediately. Instead, he was left to cool his heels and wait on others.
He certainly did not want to return to the estate until the ship was ready to sail. He could not risk coming face to face with Caroline again, nor did he want to be lectured by his mother any more than he already had been. He wanted to remain angry with Caroline. He wanted to hate her, but it was hard to hold onto those emotions when he’d been told to wait. It was like stomping out of a room and slamming a door to make a point only to be stopped by a wall and unable to vent his anger.
Instead, he had gotten settled into his cabin and when he could not stand to be on the ship any longer because he knew that he would be confined to it for the next two or three months, depending on currents and wind, he disembarked and walked along the docks, then into town and visited the shops and taverns that he had not taken time to explore previously.
At the last tavern, and after he had eaten a meal, Sterling proceeded to get drunk, so drunk that he had no idea how hemade it back to the ship but he woke up in his bunk and immediately reached for the chamber pot as he tossed up his accounts.
Never had he drunk so much before, but he supposed that was what came from having a heart broken.
Not only broken but shattered by a woman who he thought he could trust.
He would be better off to return to London, find a bride of equal rank, and one who understood duty and would not expect an emotional attachment.
At least it wouldn’t matter if she lied because she would not have the power to hurt him.
Sterling recalled that he may have said that to someone at the tavern, but the memory was not clear, and it could have been a dream, but he was fairly certain that person had called him an arse and he’d struck him.
He lay back on this bunk and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was a dream, or nightmare, brought one by the whisky and ale because the person who had confronted him had been his brother, Elliot, who was far away in Madeira, and who he planned on visiting before he returned home.
*
Caroline rose thenext day with determination to put Sterling behind her. Despite her duplicity, she and her family still had a home, her father had a position, and now William did as well. She would teach him what he did not already know about managing Wyndview Farm and then leave it in his capable hands. She would also encourage Lady Wyndham to hire a housekeeper and then Caroline would only take care of the home she lived in, her daughter, brother, and father. This was to be her lot in life.
Yes, she had enjoyed her time with Sterling and it was good tohave been wanted again, loved even, but it had come to an end. She would also never again put herself in a position to risk her heart. It had been devastating when Peter had been killed and her heart now ached just as much by Sterling’s rejection and Caroline knew that she could never suffer this way again.
However, that did not mean she would not take tea with bachelors—eventually. One day her brother would marry and she and Livia would need to find another place to live. Maybe one of the bachelors Lady Wyndham had been eager to introduce her to would be a good match. Not for love, and she certainly did not want to go through a courtship. No, she wanted an arrangement for the sake of security for herself and her daughter and in exchange, she would be an excellent wife, keep an exceptional home, and be a pleasant hostess if there was a need. However, he would need to have standing enough to employ a cook, because it was true that while she could prepare a meal, they were rarely of good quality.
There was no hurry and she certainly was in no rush, but Caroline needed to be prepared for the day her brother decided to marry and when she would need a home of her own. Fortunately, she had a lot of time since as far as she knew, William had not yet met anyone that he wished to court, but he would, one day, therefore, it was better to plan for that now, then rush and make a horrible mistake.
She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye then set out to find Lady Wyndham.
Chapter Forty-Eight
At a knockon his cabin door, Sterling grumbled for them to enter and hoped that it was the captain telling him they were ready to sail. He didn’t even open his eyes as the door creaked open.
“Good God, by the stench in here, someone should dump you in the ocean.”
Sterling cracked his eyes open and squinted at the entrance to his cabin. Maybe it hadn’t been a dream. “Where the bloody hell did you come from?”
“I told you last night, but I would not be surprised that you do not remember,” Elliot answered.
