If he expected a rejection, why had he asked?
Except, he hadn’t. Orlando had marched in here and informed her how things would be and that was what angered her. She had thought him better.
His shoulders dropped and Orlando blew out a sigh. “I have been in love with you for the longest time and wanted to ask you before now, but you have held so tight to your independence and freedom, that I feared you would reject me out of hand.”
At least he was explaining which was a great improvement over his informing her of what was to be.
“I do not want to lose you. I want to spend the rest of my days with you by my side, but I can no longer go on in the manner in which we have. We will either be together married or not together at all.”
Her heart ached that he believed there was no other choice, and perhaps she had already sensed that in him.
It was then that she took in his entire appearance. His black hair was mussed as if he’d been pushing his fingers through it or hadn’t bothered to brush it this morning. His cravat was askew and he grey eyes were dull with worry and concern…longing.
“Did you spend a good amount of time rehearsing before you arrived to deliver your proclamation?”
It did not matter what was at the heart of the matter, or in his heart, he had informed her what was to be and he knew how much she resented her opinion not being considered.
Orlando blew out a sigh as he took on a defeated stance, quite the opposite of how he had entered.
“Let me begin again,” he said as he joined her on the settee.
Blythe scooted away. She had hoped to have smelled alcohol on his breath which would have explained this odd behavior and maybe she could have forgiven him, but she didn’t even get a hint of the brandy he claimed to have drunk.
“I do not believe that is necessary.”
“Yes, it is.” He gently grasped her hand in his. She would have pulled away, but there was no force in his action.
“Very well.”
“I am afraid of losing you,” he stated but this time he spoke more gently. “I love you more than I thought it was possible to love another soul. My heart beats for you and I do not want to hide my love for you any longer.”
He pushed his fingers through his dark hair again.
She had never seen him so discombobulated, and some of her anger eased as humor took its place.
“I was all prepared to come here on bended knee and ask you to be my wife, but the more I thought about how adamant you have been about your freedom and independence, I grew panicked and thus botched my proposal.”
She placed a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggle.
Yes, she had been insulted and angry, but as he explained, Blythe began to understand and now she knew what an uncertain and panicked Orlando was like, and if he hadn’t been ordering her about, she would have found it most endearing.
“I can assure you that nothing will change. You can continue to do as you wish. You can manage Athena’s Salon four nights a week. You can sleep there and I will join you or wait for you to leave and escort you home so that you are safe. You can choose to go into Society or become a recluse again. None of that matters to me. What does is that you are with me, as my wife, and that the whole world knows.”
Tears sprang to her eyes at his heartfelt declaration.
He truly did love her as she loved him.
“You would deny me nothing?” she asked just to make certain and she was curious as to his response.
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Unless you wish to break the law. I would advise against it, but I would not stop you.”
“But that is what I planned on doing next, when I got tired of being wicked.”
“Oh, do not ever tire of being wicked. That is, unless you are going to reject me because I do not think I could stand the idea of you being wicked with anyone else.”
“I do not think it would be nearly as much fun.” Nor could she imagine wanting anyone else.
“I can promise that it would not be,” he teased before growing serious. “Blythe, I need for there to be more than simply lovers. I love you and I hope that someday you might love me in return.”
