He chuckled and shook his head. “It grows warm. Would you like to take a stroll outside?”
She took his arm and nodded, perplexed as to why he did not answer her question.
Once outside, the voices and music faded behind them.
“Did you not want to answer my question?”
“I had once believed that I wanted to be a barrister. I studied, attended dinners and lectures until I was finally noticed by a senior member of the Inns of Court and called to the bar. I thought that having a higher precedence would be beneficial, especially financially, which it is.”
“Yet you have not fully embraced such a position or you would not still be my brother’s solicitor.”
“It is because I do not like waiting,” he answered. “I wait for a solicitor to come to me and offer a brief or a case. I cannot seek clients myself, nor can I charge fees, but a clerk of the chambers tells a solicitor the amount and it comes to me through another person.” He leaned in. “Many are the sons of lords and it is unbecoming to be paid directly,” he whispered. “It is the solicitor who deals with the client.”
Lavinia frowned. “Certainly, you knew this before you became a barrister.”
“Yes, of course,” he answered. “I was often that solicitor taking a case to a barrister. I simply did not fully appreciate the need of having to wait on others.” He kicked a stone on the path. “I missed coming to know a client and their legal needs. Only with such knowledge am I able to offer the best advice. Further, I do not like being under the control of the rules of the Inns of Court.”
“Are solicitors not bound by those very rules?”
“Yes, they are,” he answered with a sigh. “Those who govern decide who can practice law and who must be disciplined,” he added. “I fear there have been suggestions that I be disciplined.”
Lavinia stopped and turned to face him. “Why?”
“Because I never stopped being a solicitor. It is considered beneath me after being promoted to a position I had worked hard to achieve.”
“Once gained, you realized that you no longer wanted such a position?” she confirmed.
He nodded.
“What do you intend to do?” Lavinia asked.
Had she not suffered through an unpleasant marriage because it was what had been expected of her, she might have insisted that he set aside being a solicitor and be the barrister as it was a much more impressive position. Or what Society would judge to be important.
It was one of the reasons she had come to Seaford, the inner battle between duty and happiness and wondering why the two could not coexist, and why one must be more cognizant of opinions of others instead of what a person truly wants.
“I believe that is one of the reasons I am here,” he said quietly. “To decide what I want.”
Much like herself. They were both at a juncture in their life where they were not happy with their situations but not certain what to do.
“I know that my brother would hate to lose your counsel. And, given he is a duke, he may be effective if he prevails upon the judges to grant you latitude in what you choose to do without punishment.”
“Once I make my decision, I might ask him to do just that.” Demetrius blew out another sigh. “I believe the reason that I am reluctant to set aside the role of barrister is because I spent years studying to reach that very goal. If I turned my back on it now, was that not wasted years?”
“No!” Lavinia insisted. “Despite what you decide, you still learned much and that can never be taken away. Knowledge is always important no matter a position.”
He tilted his head then stared at her. The side of his mouth quirked. “In that you are correct.”
“Such knowledge can only benefit you further as a solicitor, if that is how you decide to proceed. It is still the law, is it not?”
Demetrius chuckled. “That it is.”
He placed his hand over hers that rested on his sleeve. She warmed beneath his touch even though she wore gloves.
“Thank you for that, Lavinia. The knowledge gained for the simple purpose of having it was not something that I had considered.”
“Further, if I might offer a suggestion.”
He stared down into her eyes.
