Her friend straightened as her dark eyebrows rose above wide eyes. “The marriage bed. That is the duty you object to?”
It was involuntary, but Lavinia still shuddered. “Yes.”
Blythe frowned with concern. “You did not find it pleasant?”
“It is beyond my understanding how anyone could,” she answered. “It is…” Oh, she wished she could find the proper words.
“It pained you?” Blythe asked carefully.
“No, of course not. I simply did not find it pleasing and was glad when he was finished.”
Her friend slowly nodded though concern, or perhaps it was sadness, lingered in her eyes.
“Are you saying you did?”
“I found it most enjoyable. Well, at least in the beginning.”
“Why not later?”
“We um…drew apart.”
Lavinia suspected there was more to the matter than Blythe admitted but she would not press. If her friend wanted to confide, then Lavinia would listen, but she would not push for an explanation on such a personal matter.
“Your sister was of the same mind, was she not, but she remarried,” Elizabeth Cates, Lady Andover, reminded them as she joined Lavinia and Blythe for tea.
“I do not believe Octavia found the matter as unpleasant or she would not have sought a lover this past spring.”
“Yes, she had wanted to experience passion.” Lady Andover laughed.
“Are they not one and the same?” Lavinia asked.
Blythe sighed. “Oh, to share a grand passion that goes beyond the simple pleasures one may enjoy in physical intimacy would be quite wonderful. I was not so fortunate.”
“I do believe Octavia found just that.” Elizabeth raised a teacup as if to toast her sister.
“Yes, apparently she did,” Lavinia murmured.
“Perhaps that is what you should do,” Elizabeth offered. “Take a lover and discover passion.”
Lavinia was so startled by the proclamation that she nearly spilled her tea. “I do not believe that is the answer to my discontent.”
Though, she was rather curious. Octavia claimed that passion made all the difference in the marriage bed and Blythe just admitted that she had found mating enjoyable. She’d also heard such whispers these past two years.
Had her husband just gone about intimacy poorly? Theirs had not been a love match and maybe approaching the marriage bed as a duty did strip away what could be enjoyable.
Or maybe there was something wrong with her.
“I could never seek a lover,” Lavinia finally proclaimed.
“Why not?” Elizabeth asked.
“It just is not done. I am respectable and moral. I have a certain reputation and if anyone learned that I behaved in an improper manner it could reflect poorly on my younger sisters.”
“Have you not already sacrificed enough for your family?” Blythe asked quietly.
Lavinia didn’t view the duties to her family as a sacrifice, but a need that must be filled.
Except it was a duty.
