It began as an infatuation of youth, then an obsession when she couldn’t decide if he was friend or foe, and often the villain.
Rarely a day had gone by in the last nearly ten years that she had not thought of him, and their one kiss after she had fallen into the lake. When she had seen him in London, she always approached, but he never asked her to dance, which only fueled her disappointment and then she would find something to say to shock him.
Those first years, when he was watching over his sister, had been the most enjoyable because he had been at many of the same balls as she, but after Elaina married, his presence was rare. So often Eliza had looked for him among the crowd and had been disappointed when he could not be found.
She had denied that it was love for years and was convinced she only wanted to return to Wyndhill Park because of the mummy and because she enjoyed irritating him, when in truth, she also wanted to return because of Lucian.
The friendship had been unexpected and she was glad that they had become lovers, except Eliza hadn’t counted on falling in love with him.
Maybe she had always loved him—born from the first time she had come to Wyndhill Park but she kept it buried and hidden from herself. That way she would never be disappointed.
Why else would she have sought him out over and over when she was convinced that he did not care for her?
If only Lucian loved her…but he didn’t and his offer was out of honor and obligation because she had been a virgin. If she married him because of that, in time he would grow tired of her and possibly leave her behind and maybe forget…
Eliza stopped herself from making a further comparison. Lucian was not her parents, but they were the ones who made her lose trust that anyone would ever love her enough. If a parent forgot you, then so would everyone else.
Though it was cowardly of her, Eliza remained in her chamber until Lucian left for his appointments. She just couldn’t face him right now, and once he was gone, she returned to the parlor where she worked and read the last portion of her story and wondered how it might end. The problem was, she did not know and now wondered if she ever would. But one thing was for certain, she needed to search that last cave and given their discussion this morning, Eliza decided to do so without Lucian. She also wasn’t so foolish as to go on her own.
Even though she didn’t believe that man would approach her, there was no guarantee so she rose from her desk and then stepped out onto the terrace where a footman guarded the door.
“I am going to investigate the last cave,” she announced.
“You are not allowed to leave without permission from Lord Garretson.”
“I am his guest not his child,” Eliza reminded the servant.
His face grew red. “I…um…I meant no disrespect.”
“I know.” Eliza smiled at him. “I would like you to accompany me and another servant.”
He glanced around. “I am not certain.”
“I will go with or without you and I believe Lord Garretson would be very displeased if you allowed me to go off on my own.”
He cleared his throat and swallowed, growing more uncomfortable.
“He may even sack you.”
“Very well,” he finally agreed. “Please step inside so that I may inform the butler of your request and he will assign servants to accompany you.”
Eliza grinned. “Thank you.” She then returned to her parlor and took a seat behind her desk and waited.
It was only a few moments before Stella entered and demanded to know what she was about.
Eliza calmly explained.
“You should wait until Lord Garretson returns and ask his permission.”
“I need no approval from anyone,” Eliza argued as she stood. She hadn’t needed to report her comings and goings or ask permission of anyone since she left the Wiggons’ School for Elegant Young Ladies. Not even her parents cared what she did and now Eliza, a woman of eight and twenty, was not allowed to do anything without first being scolded by her maid and forced to ask permission of Lucian.
“It is not safe!” Stella insisted.
“Which is why I am taking at least two footmen, or gardeners, or whoever can be spared. I will not be alone.”
Stella huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I do not like this.”
“You would keep me locked up, just as Garretson wants to do, but I promise I will be fine. It is only a cave.”
