Had Lucian ever been free to simply enjoy? Had he always been serious, stable, and autocratic?
She’d enjoyed enough Seasons to note how much the young lords enjoyed London once free of school. They flirted, gambled, visited houses of ill-repute, or so she was told, and spent nights in White’s or Boodle’s, raced horses, and often imbibed too much brandy. It was expected and eventually, they all settled and saw to their duty to marry.
Lucian had been denied the most enjoyable part of being a lord once free of university because he had taken on the responsibility of his younger siblings, thus he denied himself those pleasures.
Perhaps that is what was missing and why he was so controlling of himself and everyone else.
Oh, if only she could make that control slip, just once.
She almost had—the night of the storm. She may have had to kiss him first, but he did return it and then he was over her, caressing her breast, and then he stopped.
Was it because of control, because of his morality, or because he found no pleasure with her?
He would not have kissed her back if it was not enjoyable, therefore, it was strict discipline that caused him to halt in his seduction.
A small smile formed as she stared out at the gardens.
She recalled very clearly the first time that he had let go of all honor and respectability. It had been nearly ten years ago, not long after she had turned eight and ten. What would have happened if her brother had not called out and found them? Would Lucian have ruined her that very day?
Was there a chance that she could make him succumb to desire and let go of his control?
Eliza stood and walked to the doors leading to the terrace and stepped out into the sunshine. She was going to bring life to Lucian before he grew old and dusty in this house. She didn’t care if he grew frustrated and yelled at her and stomped about. At least it was something, though she preferred laughter and a bit of levity.
“May I be of assistance, Miss Weston?” the footman asked.
Oh, she understood why Lucian felt the need to post guards about the property, and she appreciated him doing so, but she didn’t need one right outside each door of any room that she happened to be in.
“I simply wish to enjoy the gardens,” she finally answered.
“I will be close,” he assured her. If it was meant to offer comfort, his words had the opposite effect.
“Surely you are not concerned with someone accosting me in the gardens.”
“We are to take no chances with your safety.”
“What if I wish to go beyond the gardens?”
“Then I am to alert Lord Garretson immediately,” he answered.
“Not chase after me and haul me back to safety?” she teased.
When the footman’s eyes widened and color left his face, Eliza knew what she would do.
“I…um…please do not force me to make such a decision.”
She arched a brow. “I will give it some consideration.”
If anything, the footman grew even paler.
“You must fear Lord Garretson.”
“I do not,” the footman insisted. “However, he is my employer and I would not have him displeased.”
“An admirable quality,” she murmured and stared out past the gardens. “I have been told this estate has a lake.”
“It does.”
“Does anyone fish in it?”
