“I hate this,” she said after a moment.
“Storms?”
“This unreasonable fear,” she bit out and took a sip of brandy. “Further, I hate that you know. It’s a secret I’ve always held and now the gentleman who finds me to be most irritating has learned my weakness.”
Lucian stared down at her. “You think I would use this against you? Judge you somehow?” Even in herweakness, as she described it, Eliza managed to insult him.
“I am a rational adult woman,” she said.
“Are you attempting to convince me or yourself?” he asked quietly.
“Both, I suppose.”
“There is nothing wrong with fear, Eliza. It is what makes us cautious and keeps us safe.”
“I fear little,” she insisted. “It is not having the power to control that is most disturbing.”
“And, because you cannot control a storm you feel vulnerable to its wrath.”
“What do you fear, Lord Garretson?”
Lucian had to pause and consider her question. What did he truly fear?
“At one time it was failure. That I would fail my sister and brothers or run the estate into ruin.”
“It appears as if you have done well and your siblings are successful and happy.”
“Yes,” Lucian agreed and took a sip of his brandy.
“That was then. What do you fear now?”
His first thought was missing out on life, but Lucian did not dare voice that response. Eliza would never understand. She had no responsibilities, whereas he had to make certain there was something to leave the next generation.
He did not have the freedom to choose, such as when Xavier wanted to become a doctor, or when Micah purchased a commission, or when Asher took over the stables and Silas was convinced to become a veterinarian. Lucian’s place was here, or Harwood Hall, or in London when required for Parliament.
“I can think of nothing that I fear,” he finally answered.
“You took a good deal of time to answer,” Eliza observed. “Are you certain there is not something?”
“I am certain,” Lucian lied. “I gave considerable consideration to your question and can think of nothing.”
Eliza narrowed her eyes. “I do not believe you. Everyone fears something whether they admit it or not.”
“I am afraid for you,” he offered, and it was also the truth. “We do not know who was sending letters or who was in the cottage. I fear what may happen if he finds you and no one is there to protect you.”
“You do not need to worry about me,” Eliza insisted. “No harm shall come to me because I shall not allow it.”
Perhaps her confidence was even more frightening. “He is dangerous, Eliza,” Lucian insisted.
“He has not harmed me and I do not expect him to. He is a person who hides in the shadows and behind anonymous letters.”
“Before you dismiss caution, at least wait for Xavier to write me back.”
Her grey eyes widened. “I told you not to bother him with this.”
“As you have no control over what I can and cannot do, I chose to ignore your instruction.”
Lightning flashed before thunder clapped loud enough to cause Eliza to jump and her grey eyes grew wide with fear once again.
