How easy it had been to fall back into old habits, and former emotions.
When had she fallen back in love with that scoundrel?
Yes, Frances acknowledged that she still loved him, but thought she was being much more careful in guarding her heart.
If her emotions indicated anything, it was that she had allowed herself to become vulnerable again and if she were to receive word that he had decided not to call or no longer wished to further their acquaintance, she would be just as crushed today as she had been then.
That would not do!
This was not part of her plan, which meant that she needed to act sooner than she had anticipated. She had to get her revenge before it was too late and it was her heart that was broken again instead of his.
As the sun dipped and the lamp lighters came around, Frances could not bring herself to leave her set of rooms. It was necessary that she do so because Tessa and His Grace were to join them for dinner to discuss the upcoming salons, but Frances truly had no interest because she was too busy reeling from the fact that she had allowed herself to fall in love with that rogue again.
She truly thought she had been careful, so how had it happened?
Maybe it was not love.
It could simply be lust and desire. Misses often confused the emotions and as she had not ever experienced the want and need for intimacy before…well, other than when Seth kissed her at the cottage, she might have the emotions confused as well.
That must be it because she could not have possibly fallen in love with someone who had hurt her so deeply. Yes, a part of her would always love Seth from the past and what they had shared, but she was not in love with him now because it simply was not possible and would not do.
At the knock on her door, Frances blew out a sigh and assumed dinner was being served and crossed to allow the maid entrance. Instead, it was a footman who held a missive, which she took and she once again closed the door. With a frown, Frances opened it and read.
Franny,
It had been my intention to call on you today but was delayed when Blythe slipped on the stairs and twisted her ankle. I had thought it was fractured but it is only a sprain. I remained with her until the doctor arrived, which took nearly two hours from when we had sent for him and delayed my being able to call on you. Though she insisted that I could leave, I do not feel right doing so as I do not want to leave it to my servants to watch over her. I do hope you understand.
You should also know that I received missives from my father and brother and they have ordered me home and expect my arrival no later than the sixth day of October. I would ask you to accompany me, but as you rejected my request for your company in Doncaster for the St. Leger Stakes, I assume you would also decline accompanying me to Laswell. I would like to leave for home by Friday as I am concerned as to why my presence is required so urgently but hope not to be gone long.
I look forward to calling on you tomorrow evening and escorting you to Lady Perrington’s ball, but more importantly, I look forward to our first waltz.
Yours,
Seth
While she was relieved that it was Blythe’s injury that kept him at home, and Frances truly did hope that she had a quick recovery, she was disturbed by his other news.
Had he really assumed that she did not want to accompany him to Laswell or was he using her reason for not traveling with him previously as an excuse not to ask her to accompany him home?
He could have at least asked. Yet, he had not and suspicions filled her being. She was good enough to court, to be seen with about London, dance with at balls but not to visit his family estate. No doubt, if the matter were truly urgent Lady Blythe would also accompany him, which would provide a proper chaperone.
Then, another thought occurred to her. A gentleman took a mistress to the races and never to his home. Was that how Seth envisioned their future? He certainly had been more forward in his advances than he had ever been before. Twice he had nearly seduced her, and Frances had not discouraged him.
She also realized that her assumptions could be wrong, though it truly did not matter because the time had come to end their association anyway. Her heart was already at risk and she would not allow herself to be in love with someone who had lost her trust.
With those thoughts, Frances set the missive aside and joined the others in the parlor to await supper.
“I have given the matter some consideration and if you wish to offer Lord Seth a subscription to Athena’s Salon, I will not object,” she announced.
“He does have deep pockets,” Tessa grinned. “I will see that it is delivered tomorrow.”
Soon whatever she shared with Seth would come to an end.
It was for the better, she reminded herself, but already her heart ached at the loss. She was also thankful that she had not decided to allow him to be her lover because Frances feared that had that come about, she would not have had the heart to exact her revenge.
Chapter Nineteen
Seth had gone to the flower market early this morning to choose the perfect bouquet for Frances. He wished she had a favorite flower as it would have made his choice easier, but she had once proclaimed that she loved them all equally. Therefore, he chose those that had been the first to be planted at the cottage and included pink roses because that was the one flower that would always be special to him.
