“Because you are a rake, rogue, breaker of hearts and scoundrel? If so, then you are correct.”
“But I am not,” he argued.
Frances arched a brow.
“Not any longer. That was the reputation of a much younger man.”
She couldn’t help but snort.
“I swear, I did not pursue any miss or lady. I did not even court them, but after a few dances or turns about the room, they assumed they were in love, or they believed I was, when I never even courted them.”
Tessa and Bethany had claimed the same after she had confronted them on their matchmaking. Frances had insisted that she wanted nothing to do with a gentleman of his reputation. They had claimed it was a result of nothing more than silly chits assuming they’d fallen in love with just the smallest encouragement. He had made no promises nor had he courted anyone. According to them, Seth had never asked permission to call on any woman.
They didn’t know that he had asked her and Frances was not going to tell them.
“That is not all,” she stated. “While I was living a naive existence in Laswell, still in love with you, and anxiously waiting for your return to be in your arms, and enjoy your kisses, you were gambling and visiting brothels.”
He glanced down and said nothing.
“You wished to have your bachelor freedom in London, one which I would remain ignorant of, while I waited for you in Laswell. Had my uncle not sold the estate, which forced me to move, it’s likely I could still be there. How long would you have continued with your deception, I wonder. Would you have eventually told me or would you have simply stopped visiting with no explanation?”
“I would have never stopped traveling to Laswell so long as you were there,” he insisted.
And she would have grown old waiting for his visits. “It matters not as when the time came for me to depart, you were very clear that you no longer wanted me as a friend or anything else.”
“I was mistaken,” he said again. “Not just mistaken, but so wrong about what I truly needed or wanted.”
Her heart skipped, or at least it felt as if it did before her pulse sped.
“There has been an emptiness inside me for five years.”
As it had been in her until she used anger and coldness to fill it.
“I am sorry, Frances. So very sorry.”
“Yes, so you have said, but you were my dearest friend and that rejection hurt far more than your breaking my heart. It cannot be forgotten.”
He reached out for her hand but she pulled back. “At least let me call on you. Let me prove that I have changed. I promise that I have.”
“We both have,” she said. “Who is to say we would even get along now?”
“Do we not owe it to ourselves to find out?”
Frances was torn, not certain how to respond.
Her heart ached to be what they were, but she was too afraid to trust Seth because that was not a pain she could live through again.
But, if he had changed and there could be a future, was she denying herself something wonderful? On the other hand, would she always be afraid that it would end and be unable to embrace the friendship as she had before?
“Please, Franny. Give yourself a chance to come to know me again, and me you. I do miss my friend.”
She missed hers. “I am not the same miss you left behind in Laswell. I am not certain she exists any longer.”
“Then allow me to get to know the person you have become.”
“What if I do not like who you have become?” she countered.
“I can only hope that you do,” he answered with sincerity.
