Angelo prayed she wouldn’t reject his request. "You have your rules, but I would like one more night with you."
"I would like that as well."
Never had their coupling been so gentle and loving, as if they were each trying to commit what they shared to memory. At least, she was trying to memorize each caress and breath. She suspected Angelo was trying to hold onto his freedom or bury the emotion of his father’s illness.
This was their last night, and she didn’t want it to end, and possibly Angelo did not either. But it did end and shortly before the sun was to rise, Angelo pulled himself from the bed and dressed.
Octavia sat and drew the coverlet up to cover her nakedness.
He settled on the bed beside her and then cradled her face in his hands and she covered his with her own. She tried to remain strong and brave, but Octavia feared she would cry. Her throat was tight and her chest ached, but she could not let him see her pain. She always knew there would be an end, she just hadn’t been ready, or for it to hurt so badly.
Angelo then leaned forward and pressed his lips against her forehead. She closed her eyes, wishing that this moment would not end, for a kiss on the forehead was the most special kiss of all. It was a kiss of love, caring, and tenderness.
Then he was gone. Pulling away.
Octavia could feel him watching her, but she didn’t dare open her eyes for fear he would see her tears.
“Goodbye, Octavia.”
“Goodbye,” she whispered.
She remained where she was, listening as he crossed the room. The chamber door opened then closed.
She jumped from the bed, wrapped the coverlet about her and rushed to the window, then watched as he crossed the back lawn. He paused but for a moment, turned back and looked up at her. He pressed his fingers against his lips and then lifted that hand to her. Then he was gone, swallowed up in the darkness.
A sob broke and she collapsed in the chair by the window as sobs wracked her body. She now knew what it was like to suffer a broken heart—the kind that could never be repaired.
Chapter 26
Matron Manor was a refuge for widows, like herself, and there was always one of the founding widows who lived at Matron Manor. Currently, it was Elizabeth. After she was led to the maroon and cream parlor, Octavia blew out a sigh of relief that they were alone. She knew the other widows but would not have been as comfortable talking openly with them.
Elizabeth was different, as she was the first widow she had met and had introduced Octavia and Lavinia to the widows’ league.
Her friend greeted her warmly, but before they could discuss what was on her mind, tea was delivered. They exchanged pleasantries until the footman retreated, closing the door behind him, and leaving Octavia alone with Elizabeth.
Only then did Octavia share nearly every detail of her relationship with Angelo. The only reason she did so was because she knew that she could completely trust Elizabeth, and that her secrets would not be shared with anyone.
"I wanted a rake for the Season," Octavia chuckled. "I got far more than I bargained for or even hoped. More than I even wanted."
Elizabeth smiled sympathetically. "Sometimes our hearts make decisions for us that we would not make for ourselves."
Octavia never mentioned love, yet Elizabeth had deduced that all on her own. It was a love that Octavia would always hold and would never experience again.
“Yes, well, any future would be impossible even if it was something he wanted.”
"What are your plans now?" Elizabeth asked.
Octavia let out a sigh. "I am not certain. I still must supervise my younger sisters for the remainder of the Season. What follows, I have not yet decided. I have no desire to return to the family estate. It is possible that I may remain in London since I am living in my brother’s home, and he will not return from Greece for months.” It was also likely Angelo would either take his bride to Bath, where he preferred to reside, or to Kent and the ancestral estate, therefore, Octavia would not need to leave London until the following spring.
“I am here if days become difficult,” Elizabeth promised.
“Thank you.”
Octavia did feel better having been able to confess to someone all that had happened in her life. Lavinia suspected but would likely be scandalized to know that Angelo had spent every night with Octavia and likely would be shocked by what had occurred between them. Not that Octavia had shared details with Elizabeth, nor would she ever tell anyone. Those memories were for her alone.
After she returned to Crispin’s house, Octavia made her way up to her chamber, the weight of loneliness heavy on her chest and she wondered how she managed to dress for the evening.
She was to attend another ball, where she would watch Angelo begin to seriously consider the misses on his list.
