Neither one of them would need to be out in public and pretend this evening. Unfortunately, Octavia still had servants that she must contend with. Plus, he could not remain too late and must be seen leaving her home, though he would quickly return by the back door.
Chapter 21
As soon as she returned home, Octavia had a note sent to her brother, Leopold, informing him that she would not be attending the theatre, but intended to remain at home for the evening. Though, she mustn’t change her plans too often or her family may become suspicious. Except, she really did loathe the theatre and they knew this about her, so her crying off would not come as a surprise.
She then informed the cook of her anticipated guest and when she would like dinner prepared and then went upstairs where she took time with her toilette. She even luxuriated in the hip bath, which was something Octavia had never really done. Usually, she simply washed, dried, and got on with her day. This afternoon, she soaked in the warmth and remembered the evening before as anticipation built for what was to come later.
And, even though she had already shared intimacy with Angelo, as the moments ticked by before he arrived, the butterflies in her belly increased so that she was no longer even hungry by the time he was announced.
Octavia was robbed of speech and breath when he stepped into the front parlor. Dressed in black except for a cerulean waistcoat and sapphire pin in his cravat, his black hair combed back and dark eyes intense as he studied her from head to toe then offered a knowing half grin, as if he were seeing her without her clothing. She heated from the inside out and became as nervous as she had been the first night that she attended a ball in Society.
“Would you care for some wine?” she managed to ask.
“Yes, please.”
The footman who waited served a glass for them both.
As a servant was hovering, their conversation could not be free, which was an entanglement that she had not anticipated when she had invited him to dinner. How could they manage to get on with why she really wished him here with servants underfoot?
“I have given thought to some of the names you suggested, and I do not believe they will do,” he offered.
“I believe they are perfectly suitable.”
“Yes, but what of passion?” he asked.
“Excuse me, Lady Kepple, but dinner is served.”
“Shall we go into the dining room where we might discuss the matter further?” she asked.
He offered his arm and escorted her into the dining room where a footman waited beside her chair. Once seated, the first course was served, though Octavia had little appetite.
“You did not answer my question,” Angelo prompted.
“Which question would that be?” She feigned ignorance though she knew what he wished to know.
“These misses are pleasant enough, but what of passion?”
“The only way to determine if you will have passion in your marriage is to well…you know…which would leave the girl ruined and you marrying her regardless.”
“Which is the conundrum, is it not? I wish for passion in my marriage, yet I have no way of knowing if such will exist without first marrying her and then if it is non-existent there is nothing that I will be able to do.”
“Perhaps it is not passion you should seek but a more tender emotion?” Octavia offered.
“Such as?” Angelo asked.
“Did it ever occur to you that perhaps you might find love? If you truly loved your wife, then it stands to reason that passion would follow.”
He frowned at her.
“Do you find love objectionable?” she asked. They had a friendship, were lovers, but they did not love the other, but the fact that his marriage may be empty of such an emotion disturbed her.
“I am not certain that I trust love,” he said after a moment. “As I have never experienced it, how would I even recognize such an emotion?”
She would have liked to assure him that she had the answer, but she did not. She had thought she’d been in love with her now-deceased husband, and perhaps she had been, but it had not been real for him. He managed to say and do all the right things so that she would fall in love with him when his only concern was being the son-in-law of a duke.
“You will recognize it when it happens,” she finally answered. “She will be all you think about. You will not be able to wait to see her again. She will become nearly an obsession until you have no choice but to marry her so that she is by your side always.”
Angelo stared at her as if she had grown two heads.
