He didn’t blame her dismissing and then practically ignoring him yesterday. Crisp deserved no less. He deserved worse.
He’d been petty, which was something he’d never experienced before, and how he treated her yesterday was completely out of character for him. In retrospect, Crisp didn’t even recognize himself.
Is this how it had started with his brother, Millard. First hurt, then petty and unreasonable before moving on to attempted murder.
The thought was chilling, and Crisp pushed it aside. Now he was being ridiculous. Just because he had acted out of character did not mean he was Bedlam bound. All it meant was that he owed Vanessa a very deep and sincere apology and he hoped that she forgave him.
He wanted his friend back, even if that was all they were meant to be. And he wouldn’t spend years away from her again. He would call on her too because Crisp couldn’t let her out of his life again.
He also wanted her to find the ruby so that he had a reason to kiss her. It might not mean anything to her, but it would to him.
When he entered the sitting room where everyone had gathered to receive their next riddle, Crisp found a place to stand by Vanessa. She stiffened but said nothing as Lady Osbourne rose to speak.
“There are no riddles for today,” she announced. “For your entertainment we have archery and paille-maille. Later this afternoon, there will be picnicking on the lawn. Do enjoy yourselves.”
Then she left them. It took only a moment for the guests to decide which activity they’d like to enjoy first, leaving Crisp and Vanessa alone.
“Where shall we search first?” she asked.
He wanted to be out of the manor and away from everyone else. “I have noted the maids,” he said. “When they clean, they even look beneath cushions so there is no need for us to search as well. If it had fallen anywhere within the manor, they would have found it. Short of going through her private room, dressers and wardrobe, I don’t think we will find it here.”
“Then I suggest outside,” Vanessa offered, more in a tone of one conducting business than speaking with a friend. “We never did fully inspect the terrace. We only walked around the lake.”
“That is where we will search next.” Crisp offered his arm and Vanessa merely glanced at it, then turned away.
Bloody hell!
Did Crisp think he could now be nice to her without an apology or explanation?
Well she’d not have it because she was still angry and intended to remain angry.
He needed to know that what he’d done was unfair, but first she’d tell him the truth.
Except, then she’d also be admitting her lie, and it was a confession she must make.
However, she waited until everyone had vacated the terrace for their chosen activity.
“Yes, I was jealous, is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Only if it’s true!” he grumbled, as he looked into the various planters. “Don’t say something you only think I want to hear.”
“I would do no such thing!” She nearly stomped her foot, so angry with him. “I will have you know that a day didn’t go by that I didn’t think of you after you left. I waited for your return, but you didn’t. At least not for the longest time, and then when you did, you didn’t even bother to call on me.” Tears filled her eyes as she admitted something she’d tried to hide from even herself.
She hadn’t meant to confess all of this to him, but maybe it was better if she just got it out and she could maybe one day forget. Besides, he wasn’t even looking at her and continued searching for that blasted ruby.
“I thought you were teasing when you asked if I was jealous. I feared that if I admitted that I was, you would laugh at me, so I denied it. Then you pestered and by then…Oh, I don’t know, but I did not expect you to admit you would be jealous. I did not know how to respond to that because I was shocked, and thrilled, and surprised…I didn’t know what to say,” she finished quietly as the anger she’d held on to evaporated with the last of her confession.
Crisp turned and was walking back toward her, his face hard and eyes dark. “I would have never laughed at you Vanessa. Never. You must know that about me.”
“No, I don’t. You’ve been gone for so long. I did not know what has changed. You would have never treated me as you did yesterday before. What else is different about you Crisp?”
He closed his eyes and blew out a sigh. “I am sorry. It was wrong of me to behave in a manner that stemmed from petty jealousy and bruised pride. I’ve never treated anyone in that manner before and I am truly, deeply sorry.”
She simply stared at him and noted the pain and sincerity in his eyes.
This was the Crisp she knew.
But that didn’t mean that she hurt any less and it wasn’t just because of yesterday.
