“Normally I would not, but this is you and there is no malicious intent in your heart.”
Vanessa frowned, of course not.
“When I first returned, I did contemplate enjoying what was left of the Season, but then my brother, Millard, attempted to poison Mr. Donovan MacGregor because the lady he had wanted had chosen the Scot over Millard.” He shook his head. “Millard had always been spoiled and didn’t believe he should have to work for anything. He resented my older brother for having everything. Lady Claresta Copeland was not only the daughter of a duke but had an estate as part of her dowry. Millard decided she was perfect for him.”
Vanessa hadn’t known those details, just that Millard had been jealous enough to attempt to kill MacGregor twice.
“My brother took him to our estate as it was clear Millard was slipping into insanity. The authorities did not force him to remain in Newgate to stand trial because my brother asked it, nor did we want him sent to Bedlam. No matter how much Millard was slipping into madness, he was still our brother, and we didn’t wish to put him in such a horrific place.”
“I understand.” Not that Vanessa had ever visited Bedlam, but she’d heard stories of the horrendous conditions.
“It was a mistake,” Crisp said flatly. “My brother thought that by keeping Millard surrounded with footmen to see to his care that nothing could happen. Unfortunately, he managed to get away from them, mounted his horse and took off as if the hounds of hell were chasing him. He attempted to make a jump but was thrown and broke his neck.”
“I am so very sorry, Crisp.”
“As horrible as this may sound, perhaps it was for the best,” he finally said. “We were considering taking him to a more civilized hospital, where he could get the care he needed, not that there was anything anyone could do to keep the madness away.”
Vanessa squeezed his arm in comfort. There really wasn’t much she could say.
“So, in part, that is one of the reasons I did not go into Society. I had no wish to hear my brother spoken of in a derogatory manner. He was lost and his end was tragic.”
“I truly do understand.” Though that hadn’t been the only scandal.
“I’d think madness ran in the family, but the second scandal wasn’t blood related,” he said. “And I didn’t wish to hear my sisters disparaged either.”
The husbands of Crisp’s older sisters had never gotten along. Within a month of Millard’s funeral, the two were deep in their cups. One insult led to another, and they were soon directed at the wife of the other, and before anyone realized what was happening, the two met on the field of honor and ended up shooting each other. The sisters became widows at the same time.
“Foolish.” Crisp shook his head. “So yes, I don’t wish to offer myself up to be discussed or gossiped about or have people asking me about my family while feigning concern.”
Vanessa really couldn’t blame him, and it was likely he’d never go into Society again.
“How are your sisters?” she asked.
“My older ones are doing as well as can be expected, I suppose. As neither one had provided an heir, their in-laws turned them out, blaming them for the reason a son was dead, and they had to return home.”
“That is horrible.”
“My younger sisters will remain away from the Season this year. They don’t wish to be fodder for gossip either, but they do worry about their prospects for marriage, as do I. I can’t imagine why anyone would wish to marry any of us, except for my older brother. When one has an opportunity to become a duchess, little else matters.” He shrugged.
Except he was wrong. There were those who would look past the tragedies or would not let it matter if they truly loved the other person.
She glanced up at Crisp and her heart ached. Did he think that no one would marry him? If so, he was a fool.
Six
Crisphatedtotalkabout his family and what had happened, yet he didn’t mind so much with Vanessa. She cared and understood. She wasn’t searching for gossip to be repeated in whispers behind an open fan.
When he returned to London, Crisp had no intention of taking a wife, and after the scandals, he also knew that he couldn’t ask anyone to marry int0 his family. At least, not until enough time had passed and people forgot and had moved on to talk about others.
It was also the reason he should not pursue Vanessa. He couldn’t tarnish her by being associated with his family, even if his brother was a duke. She had already been nearly ruined because she was abandoned at her wedding. Crisp would not see her further harmed by their association.
Though, at the realization that he truly could not have her, his heart tightened, and a deep ache developed in his chest, just as it had done when he’d first left her.
The love Crisp had felt for Vanessa when he was only twenty had not died, and might possibly be stronger, yet he could not have her. It would be too unfair to her. Despite her status as a wallflower, she still attended the Season and Crisp couldn’t imagine himself ever stepping back into a ballroom. She might be further ostracized by thetonfor her association with his family.
He didn’t want to think about Millard, his brothers-in-law, or what he would deny himself. It was too fine a day and as the days with Vanessa were dwindling, he intended to enjoy them to their full extent.
“Perhaps it fell off and into the bushes,” Crisp offered, pointing to the foliage by the entrance.
