Prologue
LordCrispinTilsonstareddown into the sapphire eyes of Miss Vanessa Claxton. Her lush, dark eyelashes fluttered closed for a moment, and she took in a deep breath. If she was experiencing even half the emotions rioting within him, then his dearest friend was having just as difficult a time saying goodbye.
But goodbye it must be. Adventure awaited. From the age of twelve he had dreamed of the day when he would board a ship to see the world. It had never occurred to him that he would meet the most remarkable miss who may cause him to question all the plans that he thought had been set. Of course, at the age of twelve, he had given little thought to females and hadn’t particularly liked girls.
Much had changed in eight years, he chuckled to himself.
While leaving his family, England, and London behind was no hardship for Crisp, leaving Vanessa would be nearly impossible.
Yet, he must. He was only twenty and she was but seventeen, though mature, witty, intelligent, daring, stubborn and a bit of a hoyden all packaged into a delightfully beautiful woman. If they were both older, and if Crispin were in a position to marry, he’d do just that and take her with him. But as neither were the case, Crisp needed to leave her behind, and suspected that his heart might remain with her.
“I’m going to miss you,” she whispered as she stared up at him.
“I will miss you as well,” he answered honestly.
They’d known each other only four months, but it could have easily been a lifetime. The friendship had bloomed quickly as secrets were shared behind potted palms in ball rooms and under the moon in shadowed gardens. He never called on Vanessa officially because he didn’t wish for anyone to speculate on a courtship. She didn’t want to be seen with him because she feared her father would expect marriage if he thought her interested in a gentleman. She didn’t wish to wed after only one Season. Crisp couldn’t be tied to England.
Neither had ever intended for their relationship to be a secret, it had simply happened. However, despite all the clandestine meetings, Crisp’s intentions were always honorable, and he treated Vanessa with respect. In fact, he hadn’t even kissed her. How could he when he knew that he was leaving with no plans for when he might return? To kiss her would be unfair to them both.
“I won’t ask you to stay.”
Crisp feared that if she did, he might just turn his back on all that he had ever wanted and remain in England.
Not all becauseallincluded Vanessa.
“I am also selfish enough to wish you weren’t leaving,” she admitted.
“I am selfish enough to wish that I could take you with me.” It was something he had never admitted to Vanessa, but Crisp felt it important that she know.
“As I can only imagine the rage my father would experience, we might never be able to return.” She chuckled.
“Unless you were my wi…”
Vanessa put a finger to his lips, silencing him.
“We both know that you don’t wish to wed, nor do I.”
Crisp couldn’t believe that he almost suggested they marry. They had never discussed the topic. At least, not as it related to the two of them being married. It had only been mentioned for plans in the future, but neither had ever suggested that it would be to the other. Crisp had been very careful not to offer that encouragement and he believed Vanessa was just as cautious because she didn’t even want to think about becoming a wife until she was twenty.
“For the same reasons that you will not ask me to stay, neither will I ask you to wait for me,” he said. “I don’t know when I’ll return.”
“I know,” she offered sadly. “I’d ask you to write, but…”
“It would be unseemly, and your parents may ask why you were receiving missives from me.”
“If they learned how we have spent the last four months, Mother and Father would watch me far more closely and we both know that is the last thing that I want.”
He laughed. If there was one thing Vanessa hated, it was being told what she could not do, which usually led to her doing that very thing. Her parents trusted her and allowed a great deal of freedom, trusting that a maid always nearby would protect Vanessa. If they knew the truth of how often she and Crisp had met in private, they’d put her in leading strings once again.
“Be careful who you decide to sneak off with when I am gone.” He would hate if she trusted the wrong gentleman and found herself ruined, and Crispin knew that he’d blame himself.
“I cannot imagine there is anyone else with whom I’d wish to do so.”
Her answer brought relief.
“Besides, the Season has come to an end, and I will be returning home. One can only hope that the next crop of bachelors is not nearly as dull as those I met this Season.”
Crisp pulled back and placed a hand over his heart. “Need I remind you that you met me this Season.”
