For one, how could she assist him in raising his nieces, who were witches, when neither he nor Cordelia were?
Another reason was that he’d just met her. Yet he didn’t need a courtship to come to know her when something inside already knew.
Or was he fooling himself into thinking this was love because he’d never experienced it before. Maybe it was simply an infatuation that would soon pass. As he’d never been in love or infatuated, how could he know which was true?
Love, infatuation, or nothing at all, it didn’t matter because he’d already decided not to wed for at least ten years. The girls were his responsibility, and it was unfair to provide an immediate family to any wife upon marriage.
Damon pinched the bridge of his nose wondering how he’d gotten himself into the predicament.
Did he even know Cordelia well enough to be contemplating a future?
That answer was clear. He didn’t.
Was he also mistaking his need for her as being from the heart or was it simply desire?
Bloody hell! He’d never faced this dilemma in his life.
Yet, one thing was for certain, he could not give Cordelia any serious consideration for his future, hers or even theirs until this darkness that surrounded him was gone. First and foremost, he must protect those whom he cared the most about and then he’d decide if he wished to pursue Cordelia.
“Damon, you’re back.”
He glanced up to find Miss Perkins approaching from the inside of the manor and stifled a groan.
While he might be conflicted when it came to Cordelia, he certainly wasn’t about Miss Perkins.
“Miss Perkins,” he greeted.
“We’ve not seen you all day,” she chastised. “Your mother went to look for you, but a servant said you had left. You shouldn’t worry her so.”
“I doubt my mother was worried,” he decided.
Miss Perkins blinked up at him. “We’ve hardly had time to talk, Damon.”
“We’ve visited,” he reminded her.
“Yes, of course, but we’ve not discussed the reason I am here. The reason for your mother’s invitation.”
His stomach knotted. Damon had hoped that she’d leave at the end of her visit and didn’t wish to reject her. Though, perhaps she wished to reject him, which would bring great relief.
“It’s a matter we should discuss,” he gestured to a bench near a willow tree. He didn’t want to be out of sight of the manor. Here, anyone could come upon them, or view them sitting together from any window facing the cove.
After she was seated, Damon joined her.
Miss Perkins turned to him.
“Your parents and mine always believed we would wed.”
“I am aware.” He was just grateful they’d not done anything so archaic as betroth them as children. Then he’d truly be stuck.
“I always believed so too,” she added. “I rejected courtships because of you.”
“I did not ask you to do so,” he reminded her. “Our parents’ intentions were not ours.”
“Yes, well, I didn’t want anyone else but you.”
This was worse than he feared. He had hoped that she was just doing her parents’ bidding, even if they were no longer alive.
“I am sorry, Miss Perkins.” What else could he say? Anything else would be a full rejection and he didn’t wish to hurt her feelings.
