“Fair.”
He gets to his feet. “Is that all? Because, if you don’t mind, we can start working the kinks out of your brilliant plan later. I have a wife who’s waiting for me.”
Sorry, Adrian. “Just one other thing.”
He groans. “Really?”
“Real quick. Promise.”
After all, I think to myself as I pull a piece of card stock out of Jack’s—Adrian’s—desk, all it takes is a slash of my knife and the new King’s signature to notarize a blood oath.
TWENTY-FIVE
NO MORE LIES
LUCY
Something is going on. Dallas… I know he was hiding so much from me before, but without any frame of reference, all I had to go on—thanks to my still missing memories and no idea how interwoven the Order of the Owe was in Harmony Heights—was a nagging suspicion in the pit of my stomach. Now? It’s so obvious that he’s working on something… somethingbig… and I have no idea how I missed so many of the warning signs before.
Dallas? He’s not a very good liar when you know him. I couldn’t tell the difference when I first came to the penthouse, but over the last few weeks, I’ve let down my guard enough to give this…us… a real second chance.
It’s something I realized during the two days I spent at Haven and Connor’s. I don’t want to say that I sensed that Dallas was lying all along when he told me he was my husband because I didn’t. I had no idea. It was more like I couldn’t allow myself to believe that such a gorgeous, caring, devoted man would pick me, and if I somehow lost him, why would he want to try again? It didn’t make sense to my broken brain that he could’ve doneanything wrong, though, looking back now, I see that I didn’t flagthoselies because they were pretty close to the truth.
Wewereseparated. Due to the circumstances—how Dallas believed I was in danger if he went after me, and I was told that Dallas would be dead if I didn’t do what I was told and marry Julian—wewereestranged. He never stopped loving me. I want to believe that, based on how I came all the way back to tell him there were Owed members plotting against him before Julian attacked me, I still had feelings for him. He wasn’t lying when he told me I was the only one for him, or that it was his job… his position in the Order, not the fake mechanic job that his friend Sebastien covered for him for… that was the catalyst behind keeping us apart.
Really, his biggest lie was one of omission: that he was the King of the Order after his father’s pretty well-deserved death (thank you, Adrian). And, you know. How he took advantage of my amnesia to tell me he was my husband instead of the ex I had reluctantly left behind,
When I returned to the penthouse with him, I made my condition clear before I could even entertain the idea of starting over with Dallas: no lies. I don’t care if he thinks that it’ll hurt me to be honest. Screw that. I was the truth, no matter what, and he agreed. Actually, I think it was a relief for him. Like I said, he sucks at lying when you know him well enough to pick up on his tells. He’s the most straightforward guy I’m pretty sure I’ve ever met, and I bet that’s one of the reasons I fell for him in the first place.
Plus his insanely hot body. Those gorgeous green eyes. That magic he can work with his cock. Oh, and that he’s so down bad forme, he got one tattoo (the black spade) to mark the way he thought he was dying when I left him, and the other (the dandelion) because he wanted to carry the moment I came back to him on his skin forever.
He wants me. There’s no denying that. He gets antsy when I leave the penthouse, and he sheepishly confirms that that security team are under strict orders from the King to watch over me whenever I do. That’s only in the Fortress. If I step foot outside of it, he gets a message, no matter what he’s doing. Nowadays, after I confessed that his overprotectiveness was making me feel like a prisoner, he’s more careful to just send me a check-in text instead of dropping what he’s doing to run after me, but that’s because he’s trying.
I’m trying, too. I try to give him grace. With honest, comes reflection, and I admit I’m fucking scared shitless to hear that Dallas was willing to kill himself over me. Some people might find that romantic. Me? I want Dallas to stay with me, and if that means I have to stay with him, giving him reasons to do so, I will.
We’re both broken. Shattered. I forgot so much, and he remembers too much. So maybe this thing we have is destined to be unhealthy. I shouldn’t be responsible for his mental health, and he shouldn’t think that he’s to blame that mine is what it is. But, fuck it. I love him, and I’m here for him, and if that means we’re codependent and determined to keep each other alive… well, at least we’re not as twisted as Connor and Haven with her notepads and his cameras all over the house.
Of all of Dallas’s close friends—the men he grew up with, thanks to their all being born into either founding or influential Order families—I’ve grown to know those two the best. Since Adrian and Dallas have been attached at the hip lately, the cousins always bowing their heads and talking in low voices together, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Loni.
She’s sweet. I like her. Plus, when Dallas gives her a day off from manning the desk down in his office, she hangs out with meandbrings either one or both of her fluffy kitties with her so that we can play with them. And, after I hear the story about how she and Adrian got together… a purely romanticized version oftheir bloody wedding… I don’t feel so bad about my and Dallas’s relationship.
When it comes to these men, it’s clear that they’ll do anything for the women they love, including keeping them locked in the basement of their house (Connor), killing their fiancé in the middle of the church so that he can take his place (Adrian), and even signing a contract for a one-year arranged marriage, then burning the contract, having the ashes turned into a heart-shaped locket, and telling his wife that their marriage is a real ‘til death do we apart affair (Sebastien).
The crazy thing is that, having met Haven, Loni, and Annaliese, I can see that—despite all of the hundreds of red flags surrounding their husbands—they’re all treated like royalty and head-over-heels in love. Maybe it’s an Order thing. Maybe they’re all dysfunctional, just like Dallas and me. It doesn’t matter, they’re happy, and I… I’m happy, too.
Even if Dallas is up to something.
Lately, Dallas and Adrian have been disappearing into the office downstairs more often. They spend hours locked inside, canceling all of the countless meetings that seem to be part of the King’s duties, while Loni keeps me company. Then, when they eventually come up to the penthouse together, Dallas looks tired but… lighter somehow.
Like a decision has finally been made.
No one tells me what it is. Mainly because I’m still talking to Dr. Brannigan—after I made Dallas swear on his mother’s urn that, despite being one of the Owed, heisa specialist qualified to help me with my lingering trauma and memory loss—and while I’ve made so much progress since I recognized that those first few nightmares were, in fact, memories trying to peek through. I’ve been getting flashes almost daily, and it feels like I might have a real breakthrough anytime now. Still, I’ve learned my lesson. Don’t ask questions if you don’t want to hear the answer,and I’ve decided that I… I don’t really want to know what he’s doing. It’s clearly Order business, and when he’s ready to tell me, he will.
No more pretending. No more lies. If I do ask, he tells me the truth, and I have to admit: it wasn’t the lies that bothered me. It was the secrets. Now that he’s not trying to hide what he’s doing, I’m… I’m okay.
Well, as okay as I can be.
While I don’t ask Dallas about what he’s up to, I do ask him about my life, about his, about what I missed while I was gone, and what I still don’t remember. From him, I’ve learned that my father was a low-ranking Order member. Because of that, I was raised on the outskirts of the society. Technically part of it, but with nothing to show for it. I had enough ‘pedigree’ to be offered to an Owed, though I wasn’t a pure Offering—their ridiculous name for the women born and bred to marry someone at the top… like Dallas.Thatwas why Jack Collins didn’t want me involved with his son, even though Dallas and I first fell in love without any thought to how it would affect the Order.
