The quarter keeps moving.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Nika stands near the door with his shoulder against the frame, scrolling through messages on his phone, pretending not to watch me. He has learned over the years when to speak and when to let me think myself into knots.
“You’re going to wear a groove into your knuckles,” he says after a while, his voice light.
“I’ll survive,” I reply.
“Mmm. Funny that survival is on your mind at a time like this.”
The corner of my mouth twitches, but it doesn’t turn into a smile.
“I’m telling him today,” I say, finally breaking the silence that has been sitting between us like a loaded gun.
Nika’s eyes lift. “Yeah? Telling him what exactly?” It’s a careful question, but I’ve known Nika long enough to know that he’s figured outsomethingis happening.
Something more than it was ever supposed to.
“I’m done stalling. No more excuses.”
The coin slips cleanly over my thumb and returns to its circuit, steady as a metronome. “I’m not lying to him. Not about this.”
He pockets his phone. “Probably for the best.”
“I touched her,” I say, the words tasting heavier than they should. “More than that. I broke the agreement, and now she’s pregnant.”
Even in the quiet room, the word feels loud.
Pregnant.
It doesn’t fit in my mouth yet. It feels unreal and terrifying, and dangerously precious all at once. How am I going to tell Liev if I can barely wrap my mind around it myself?
The quarter falters for half a second before I catch it and keep going.
“And…” I start, then stop.
Nika studies me with open curiosity. “And?”
“Nothing.”
He snorts softly. “You should probably also tell him you’re in love with her.”
My head turns slowly toward him, and the look I give him would make most men step back.
“Careful,” I warn.
He raises both hands, unbothered. “Just saying. Seems like important information.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
I hold his gaze until he looks away first.
Love is a word I’ve avoided my entire life. Love makes men soft, and softness gets you buried. Love is leverage in someone else’s hands, a weakness that can be exploited. I have spent years cutting every tie that could be used against me.
