“But I see it now,” I continue. “You didn’t take anything from her. You gave her a way out. You didn’t make her smaller. You gave her room, and let her decide, but I couldn’t see it then. If she’d asked you to stop, you would have, wouldn’t you?”
He exhales slowly. “I don’t always do things just one way. I only know how to get them done.”
“I know,” I say, a small smile curving my mouth. “But that doesn’t mean they’re wrong. I thought that once…”
Years ago. When I didn’t want to come here. I didn’t want to be connected to anything that had to do with my father, Kazimir Baranov, or the empire notorious for death and destruction.
He turns his head slightly so he can look down at me, his gaze searching my face. “You understand that doesn’t make me a good man.”
“I didn’t say it did,” I reply softly. I’m aware that Kazimir has more than just skeletons, he’s likely got hundreds of bodies in his past.
For a moment, something vulnerable flickers in his eyes, something unguarded. I take a breath, gathering my courage.
“And the Lennox,” I add. “That mattered more than I can explain. I didn’t feel like I was a favor today. I felt capable; wanted. I felt like I belonged there.”
“You do,” he says without hesitation. “I’m sure the manager wouldn’t have agreed if you’d been lacking. She doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman who would bend to me.”
He sounds bemused, but also certain. I frown, but I get what he’s saying. Brook might be made of steel in some capacity, but she’s kind. It’s something I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around; two traits existing together.
The certainty in his voice settles something deep inside me. That simpleyou dois how I should feel about myself, but I don’t. So how can this man, who seems like he’s made of strength and ruthlessness, see that in me? How can he look at me and see potential where I see only flaws?
We lie in silence for a while. I’m acutely aware of my body and how at ease he makes me feel when I’m next to him. I’m not trying to suck in my belly, hold my thick legs a certain way, or take up less space. I just…am.
“I used to think power meant owning something,” Kaz says eventually. “Controlling it. Making sure it couldn’t leave. Now, I’m learning it might mean building something strong enough that it doesn’t want to.”
I shift, lifting myself up slightly so I can look at him, my confidence surprising me. “I’m not yours because you keep me here,” I say. “I’m here because I choose to be.”
His hand slides to my waist, firm, but not possessive. “I know.”
I don’t realize how far I’ve fallen until I catch myself smiling at him. The thought of leaving this room feels wrong, not necessary. I know who he is and what he’s capable of. I know there is blood on his hands and darkness threaded through his kindness.
I can’t find it in me to resent him.
I settle back comfortably, and unguarded. My body relaxes in a way it hasn’t…ever. Whatever this is, it’s changing me. Making me bolder. Making me believe, just a little, that I deserve the space I take up.
Chapter 22
Kazimir
The sun is slipping toward the water when we stop in front of Liev’s building. The sky is turning that soft, molten color that makes Savannah look like a painting tourists carry home and hang on their walls. The street is alive with voices drifting from open-air bars, couples strolling hand in hand, the smell of salt water, fried food, and perfume. For a moment, standing there with Alyona at my side, it feels dangerously easy to imagine that we are just another pair amongst them. Unremarkable and unthreatened.
She looks beautiful. The wrap dress is light, patterned with muted colors that move when she does, clinging to her curves without advertising them. It’s modest enough that Liev won’t bristle, and flattering enough that I can’t stop looking. Her hair is loose, catching the breeze off the water, and when she glances up at me there is a question in her eyes that has nothing to do with dinner and everything to do with us.
I have to remind myself, almost minute-by-minute now, that this isn’t real.
She isn’t really mine. She can’t be.
I offer her my arm, and she takes it without hesitation. That small gesture settles something in my chest. It also sharpens myawareness of where we are and whose territory we are about to step into.
Liev answers the door himself. His gaze goes to Aly first, relief flickering there, and then to me. His jaw tightens, it’s as though he’s grinding down words before they can escape.
“Kazimir,” he says flatly. “I don’t believe you were invited.”
“Liev,” I reply in an easy, pleasant way. I’m treating this as if it were just another dinner between two old friends. “I hope you don’t mind. Devin couldn’t make it, so I’m taking her place…for Aly’s safety, of course.”
Aly stiffens slightly at my side, but she doesn’t contradict me. We both know that her father is still livid about this arrangement. He’s unable to stop it, fearing that Hinto really will come after her. His eyes narrow, and for a second I think he might actually slam the door in my face. Instead, he steps back and gestures us inside with a sharp movement that carries no welcome in it.
His apartment is expansive and tasteful. It’s not the first one he’s had since we came to America as teens, but it is the one that feels most like him. It’s glass and pale wood with wide windows that frame the water. Once, we were stuck in the hold of a boat together with only thesoundof water and the feeling of claustrophobia. This place reminds me of that.
