When I step out into the main room, I wince at the harsh light. I hate it when the lights are turned all the way up. It takes away the allure and sexuality of the club. Making my way toward the front door, I stop when I see someone I recognize.
I mean, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him, but he looks even better than he did all those years ago. It’s Ivy. He’s standing to the left of the doorway with Mr. Bennet. They’re deep in conversation, but I can’t stop looking at him.
As if he senses my presence, or maybe my staring, he turns his head, and his eyes find mine. He blinks once, then twice, before his lips curve up into a smile. He hands Bennet the paper in his hand, then closes the distance between us.
“Is that really you, Millie?” he calls out as he approaches.
“It’s really me,” I say before his arms wrap around me in a big hug.
It feels like I’m being hugged by my big brother. He was one of them, too. All those years ago, Ivy was a man whom I considered my friend, a man I could count on. He was one of the good ones.
Ivy takes a step backward, his fingers curling around my biceps, his arms straight, his gaze on mine. There is a moment of silence before he speaks. When he does, his voice is so low that I’m the only one who can hear him.
“You look good, really good. Does this mean you’re back?” he asks.
I can tell he’s got about a million questions swirling around inside his head. I wish I could answer them for him, but I’m not even sure I have all the answers. At this point, I don’t know why I’m really here. I’m not sure if I want anyone else to know. And I’m not sure how long I’m going to stay.
“I don’t know,” I confess instead of saying all those other things.
Ivy doesn’t care about that. He wants the bullet points. And I don’t blame him, because that’s what I would want, too.
The bullet points.
“I hope it does, Millie. We’ve all missed you.”
I almost, almost laugh at his words. I’m not even sure how to respond to that, because I highly doubt any of them have even thought about me once in the past decade. Women are interchangeable at the clubhouse with those men. I was just someone who once hung around, and then I was gone.
“Thanks,” I whisper instead of giving him a speech about how I know they haven’t thought about me.
“I’d love for you to meet my old lady, and Bullet’s, Lightning’s, Mavrick’s, and Goose’s.”
“You guys have old ladies?” I remember Maverick and Goose. They were newly-patched members back then, around my age.
“We’re all having kids, too,” he says with a chuckle. “We’re real grown-up adults and shit now.”
It’s surprising to say the least, shocking to say the most. The thought of Bullet and all these other men settling down with women and having children causes something inside me to shift. I wanted that. I wanted it so badly that I could taste it.
I wanted Axton to want that with me. I didn’t need to be married immediately or even have a baby right away. I was only eighteen. But I wanted the hope and the promise of someday. Axton couldn’t, or wouldn’t, give that to me.
“I’m so happy for you all,” I lie.
I’m jealous as hell, that’s what I am, but there’s no sense in telling him that, because it would do zero good. It would make him give me some pitying look, and I refuse to have that happen.
Ivy smirks. “Seriously, we’d love to have you come for a visit. We’ll have a whole family party and everything. I know everyone would love to see you again.”
I’m not sure how to respond to that, so I don’t, and thankfully, I don’t have to because his arms drop from my shoulders, and he takes a step backward. “I have to finish this meeting, but promise me you’ll think about it?”
Flashing him an easy smile, I dip my chin in a single nod. “I promise.”
And I’m thinking it’s a no.
Hitching my strap a little higher, I head out of the club and make my way toward my car. It’s the second-to-last car in the parking lot. The other is Bennet’s. And then there’s Ivy’s bike.
There aren’t any unknown or unrecognizable vehicles around, so I let out a sigh of relief as I start my car’s engine and shift it intoDrive. I don’t drive around in oblivion, though. I continue to flick my eyes up to my rearview mirror to ensure no one is following me.
I know he’s here somewhere. I just don’t know if he’s found me yet, but I can feel his presence. He’s close. Maybe Heidi broke and told him. I wouldn’t hold it against her if she did. It wouldn’t bother me at all. I should have dealt with this months ago. I knew it was going to catch up to me, but I’d hoped I could have had a bit more time.
PIGGY
