I want her to wantonlyme. I want her to be so fucking dependent on me she can’t sleep without having me beside her. She needs to know what it feels like to want me 24-7 and that she can’t fucking breathe without me.
I inhale another drag of the sweet vapor. The front door swings open, and Hawk waves me in.
“It's about time your annoying ass showed up,” he says. “What took you so long?”
Blowing out a cloud, I storm past him and drop onto the worn couch. A plume of dust puffs from the seats, clouding me in the aroma of old people and piss. I wrinkle my nose and scowl at the cushion beside me.
“Okay. You good, bro?” Hawk shuts the door and raises an eyebrow in my direction as he crosses the room and settles on the other end of the couch.
Taking a calming breath, I school my features and pretend everything is fine. I roll my eyes and blow a raspberry while dropping my head against the cushion. “Had to get rid of the recent fling.”
“Yeah? What did this one do?” Hawk shakes a cigarette from a pack, tucks it between his lips, then lights the end.
“Tried getting close to me and caught feelings.” The lie comes easily because it’s not something that hasn’t happened before.
He snorts a laugh and sweeps his hand through his blond hair. “They can never resist, can they?” He glances at me with a smirk. “Sorry to hear about that, man. Maybe the next one will follow your rules.”
“I won’t hold my breath.” I shrug and fish my cell phone out of my pocket. Since I’ll be here all day, babysitting our captive, I may as well entertain myself with random videos on the internet. It’s not like we can go out and find Mickey, given that the little bitch is hiding.
Hawk snickers.
I raise an eyebrow at him. “What?”
He finishes the last of his smoke and crushes the cherry end into the skull ashtray on the armrest. “What are you gonna do when you fall for someone?”
“Won’t happen,” I say, wincing at how fast I answered.
Hawk’s face breaks into a shit-eating grin.
I narrow my eyes. “I mean it. You think I want to tie myself down to one chick for the rest of my life? Pff. It’ll never happen. That shit sounds boring as fuck.”
“Never say never, bro.” He folds his arms behind his neck and stretches his legs in front of him. “One of these days, some woman will blindside you, and you’ll be eating out of her palm.”
My lips peel back in a grimace. I groan and raise my gaze to the ceiling, like it’ll lend me the patience I’m grappling for while talking about love and settling down with some chick.
The last time I tried messing around with a woman was a year and a half ago, and she turned into a raging bitch when I ended things with her. She said she hoped I would fall in love so that I could experience the same hurt I put everyone else through. Her words continue to haunt me, even to this day. It’s like she knew my biggest insecurity and used it against me to make me bleed.
Since then, it’s been my left hand keeping me company.
Now look at me. Jealous and heartbroken for a girl I’ll never have.
“Fine,fine.” Hawk chortles and sweeps his fingers through his hair. “I’ll drop it but just know I’ll be here when you need a shoulder to cry on when a girl breaksyourheart.”
I roll my eyes and take another hit from my vape. Not him too.
“It’ll never happen, bro. But I’m sure you’re just looking for a reason for me to run into your arms.” I smirk.
Hawk winks. “Always.”
We fall into an easy silence, and I settle into the sofa. I eye Hawk, wondering if he fully believes my initial lie about being in a foul mood.
I hate lying to my friends, but they ask too many questions sometimes. Since we were kids, we’ve never kept anything from each other. But this is the one thing I can’t open up about. I can’t tell them about my feelings for Nova. They wouldn’t understand.
Okay, maybe Jaxon would since he’s obsessed with his sister too. But I fear my obsession with Nova runs a little deeper than Jaxon’s with Dahlia.
I want to kill anyone who looks at my sister. Hell, I want to dismember men who talk to her; even just a friendlyhellofrom them makes me murderous.
Glancing toward the empty laundry room, I say, “Is he still in there?”
