“Nooo.” I drag the word out, my gaze straying to the old metal scissors in the cup beside the register.What would Tessa do?She already pulls bangs off beautifully. My face is a little rounder than hers, but I’ve never tried. Who knows? Maybe they’d look—
“Don’t touch the scissors,” Mia snaps.
“Fine,” I grumble, dropping my head to my forearm.
She snorts a laugh and stops typing. “You’re required to think about it for ten to twelve business days before you make any drastic hair decisions.” After a short pause, she asks, “This midlife crisis isn’t Theo’s doing, is it?”
Is it?I’ve had five days to process his words.Once you set your mind to something, you’re unstoppable.
It’s not necessarily those words that have me feeling restless. It’s the possibility behind them. It’s the kernel ofwhat ifthat’s been rattling in the back of my mind ever since. Iwant to pop it open and see what’s inside.
“I don’t think so,” I admit, my voice muffled against the desk. “Life is... a lot right now, and I can’t quite figure out if I’m where I’m supposed to be. Or if I should be pushing for something different.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “What kind of different?”
My sigh is nearly a groan. “I don’t know. Ilike my job here. It’s easy, Logan’s great, it doesn’t really involve any stress.” I stand, restless. “But I can’t help wondering if I’m supposed to be reaching for something more fulfilling. Or if my true calling is somewhere else—in another town or another state.”
“You’re unsettled,” she says.
“I’m always unsettled,” I agree, walking down aisle two. “But I don’t know if that actually means I need tochooseto be settled. Quit looking elsewhere for a feeling of contentment. Stay still. Live in the moment.” I straighten the front row of spray paint cans. “Or if I’m supposed to follow that unsettled feeling and reach for something else. Ican’t tell.”
A few things clatter around through the phone before her espresso machine whirs to life. “Maybe it’s like dating. What if you were with a partner who’s pretty nice, but there’s no passion? Say they know how to load the dishwasher, but when they kiss you, there’s no fire in your heart. Do we settle?”
“No?” I ask, unsure. I’ve never experienced what she’s talking about, so I have no clue if fire in my heart is a good thing.
“Right.”
“So, my job should give me heartburn?”
“Not literally. But it should at least be something that getsyou excited. Even stronger than butterflies...dragons. We want fire-breathing dragons in your heart, Fabes.”
“Ouch.” I wince.
“You’ll understand when you feel it. You’ll find a career that lights you up, then you’ll come running back to me.” Her voice pitches up in some Valley girl impression that sounds nothing like me. “Oh my god, Mia, you were so totally right!”
I mimic the tone. “Someone, buy me some antacid because this heartburn it’s, like, totally killing me.”
We both laugh as I curve around the end of the aisle and approach the glass windows at the front of the store. My gaze drifts over the street congested with cars, out to the grass, where there seems to be a lot of people milling around. And is that Cathy crouched on the ground with a camera?
Oh.It’s Friday afternoon, which can only mean one thing. Iturn toward the firehouse and—
“Holy. Shit.” I nearly drop the phone.
The usual volunteer fire crew is there, but the newest member steals all my attention. Theo’s front and center, doing a move I don’t know the name of, but whatever it’s called... it’s... well, those biceps are working overtime with the weights in his grip, and I don’t hate the sight of it.
Not even a little bit.
“What?!” Mia gasps.
“It’s, um...” I wince, not about to tell her it’s the view of her brother that just knocked the wind out of me.
My brain stops working when Theo pulls his sweat-soaked shirt off and tosses it aside. Someone in the community park squeals loud enough to make it through the glass. My eyes are greedy as they trail over his body. It’s hard to make out every detail from this far away, but my imagination has no troublefilling in the blanks. Firm abs, bulging pecs, broad shoulders. It’s already too much, but when he squats and those tree-trunk thighs flex, I’m done for. Something warm and achy pools in my blood. I think I make a choking sound.
“What’s wrong?” Mia asks.
The only response my brain comes up with is: “Hot.”
Distantly, I hear Mia yammering about how she doesn’t know what I’m saying, but all I can concentrate on is her brother. He pauses, hands perched on his hips, chest heaving from effort, and my stomach flips over on itself. Iwant to climb him like a koala and bury my face in his neck. Sweat be damned.
