“I’m sorry,” I cry, wiping more tears as they drip down my cheeks. “It’s Christmas, and I know you’re with—"
“Lena, don’t. You need me, and you would do the same if I needed you.” A door shuts through the phone. “Okay. What’s going on?”
A hiccup bursts out of me before I admit, “I got in a wreck. With a pile of snow.”
Her gasp ricochets through the car. “Are you okay? Where are you? I can be in the car in two minutes.” The words are a jumble as she moves around the room.
“I’m okay. I’m okay. I promise.” My gaze flicks to the lit sign beside me, and the tension in my shoulders loosens a little more. “I’m right by Bear Creek, so I can go get Joe and Gary to help me in a minute.” She exhales a sigh of relief. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Well, I always love hearing your voice, but you sound like something’s very wrong.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I whisper, “I was trying to drive home, but I was crying too hard and couldn’t see clearly, and the universe yelled at me and sent me into a snowbank.”
“Lena, honey. You’re only giving me breadcrumbs. I don’t understand. Why were you crying? Who do I need to fight?”
I try to breathe a small laugh at the idea of Millie fighting someone for me, but it just comes out as a whimper. “I left because … because … it was only supposed to be one night, Mills. And then it turned into one more morning, and then it was the pantry and the next night. And somewhere along the way, one night turned into …everything.” A tear lands on the phone in my hand with a tinyplop.
“Oh, Lena,” she soothes. “Then why are you on your way home?”
“Because that’s where my life is. That’s where my home is. I miss you and the girls. And Micah and Emil. I need to start looking for jobs and try to put everything back together.” I slouch into my seat before adding, “Can we bring Micah and Emil into the call? I want to hear their voices.”
“Absolutely. Hold tight. I’ll add them.” Millie’s call clicks away, and after a few moments of quiet agony, her concerned voice drifts back to my ears. “You still there?”
“Yeah.” My shaky voice gives away my emotional state.
“Oh, love,” Micah says in his deep timbre, and just those two words send homesickness flushing through my chest.
“While I was connecting the call, I gave them a quick rundown of updates,” Millie says.
“Did she mention the orgasms?” I ask, my small, shaky chuckle an attempt to lighten the mood.
The most beautiful chorus of laughter bursts from the phone, and for some bizarre reason, it pulls another keening sob from my throat.
“She forgot to mention that detail,” Micah rumbles, and I can virtually see the wide smile on his face.
“Bummer. It’s a really good part.” I slide my palm over my chin to wipe the tears cascading down.
“You can fill us in on that later. For now, tell us why you were driving home instead of staying back there with your family and Gavin.”
My lips flatten as I try to find the right words. It’s difficult when I’m not even one hundred percent sure about the decision I’ve made. How do I tell them out loud when I haven’t untangled the mess myself yet?
“I think I have … feelings for Gavin, but he’s going to be living in Juniper, and I live in Wilhelmina,” I start, trying to focus on facts.
“Okay,” Emil says gently. “What kind of feelings are you having? Because I think that information dictates our advice.”
“Ugh. Why are you hitting me with the hardest question first?” I murmur, and they wait patiently while I attempt to dissect it. “I feel … like I just left my heart back there in his hands. Like I’ll never get it back. It’s his now.”
A thoughtful hum sounds between them.
“And do you trust him to take care of it?” Emil asks.
“Yes,” I whisper breathlessly.
“Then why are you driving here?” Micah wonders.
“I don’t know. Everything feels twisted and confusing,” I admit.
“Should you try a visualization?” Millie asks, a hint of teasing in her tone.
