The memory of that night burns a hole through my stomach. “I saw her kissing Brandon at the Christmas party, and I was so fuckingangry,even though I didn’t have any right to be. I wanted to punch him in the face.” My hands clench at the thought. “I was so close to doing it. Then you found me a few minutes later, and you were laughing and acting like everything was normal, and I couldn’t fake it. I had to leave.”
His throat works as he chugs the last bit of his beer. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
My throat feels like it’s full of cotton as I say, “You all let me into your house and family, and I feel like I’ve betrayed you all for even thinking about her.” I drop my head into my gloved hands and whisper the last part. “I didn’t want to ruin the only family I’ve ever had.”
Auggie clears his throat. “How long have we known each other?”
Lifting my head, I meet his gaze over the dancing fire. “Twenty years, four months, and three days.”
A ghost of a smirk passes over his lips before he bites it away. “And do you think I trust you? Care about you? Love you?”
A few beats pass before I admit, “Yes.”
He shoves his hat back over his head and stands. “Hell yes, I do, Gavin. You’re a good man. To me, to my kids, my wife, my family.” His hands land on his hips, and he levels me with a glare. “And you’re good to my sister.”
I press my lips together to keep them from shaking. “I’m fucked up, Auggie. My life has fucked me up.”
A sigh leaves his lungs as he kneels beside my chair. “That’s not true. All those people who let you down were fucked up. But not you.” His sharp gaze focuses on me. “You are good. And honest. And one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.”
My nose burns, and my chin wobbles.
“Do you love her?”
My heart thumps wildly in my chest. “Yes.”
“Does she love you?”
“I don’t know.”
His head tilts. “Have you told her you love her?”
“No.”
Auggie blows out a breath. “Ah, come on, Gav.” He puts a hand on my knee and jostles it. “You need to. How’s she going to know if you don’t tell her?”
He says it like the idea is so simple. But for someone who has kept those words from his lips for most of his life, it’s not simple at all.
Sure, I love Auggie and his entire family, but it’s not something I say out loud. It’s not something I can admit as freely as he always has.
My muscles ache to move, so I drop my beer bottle next to my seat and stand to pace the back porch.
Can I even say those words to her, or will they die in my throat when I try? I don’t even remember the last time I told someone I loved them. I was too young, and my own self-preservation has washed it from my memories.
“I don’t know how to tell her,” I admit, my feet pausing on the porch before I turn to face him.
Auggie huffs a laugh. “You just say it. You’d be surprised how easy it is once you start.” He grabs my shoulders firmly and pins me with a stare. “You have to tell her.”
Okay. I just say it. I grab her cheeks and pull her toward me and whisper it against her lips until it’s easy.
The hinges squeal as I throw the back door open, going in search of Lena. I toss my jacket on the counter in the empty kitchen.
The dining room is empty.
The living room is empty.
But the entryway is not.
Everyone but Auggie is there, gathered around the front door, where Lena stands with her bags sitting beside her and a deep crease between her brows.
