When I reach her hair, I tuck my hand underneath and let my palm settle against her neck. My fingertips graze her pulse, and it flutters rapidly beneath my touch. Her breath hitches as she tilts her head, her wild curls gliding to the slide to give me better access.
Just this point of contact is so perfect that I want to crumble. I want to take all the bricks around my heart and hand her each one as an offering.
“Go get in the hot tub.” My voice is unrecognizable as I pull my hand away. It’s all I can think to say when my brain power is flowing south with all the blood in my body.
My heart stops beating as Lena slips the dress off her body, and it pools on the floor. The tiny black strip of her thong disappears between the round globes of her ass, and the dim light casts shadows in all the places I want to sink into.
She works her shoulders playfully like she knows exactly what she’s doing to me. The little menace.
Tossing a smirk in my direction, she steps out of her dress and opens the back door, parading her perfect body through it.
After it clicks shut, a gust of air rips from my lungs.
I want to collapse to the bed. The physical, mental, and emotional strength it takes to stay away from her is almost more than I can bear.
I’ve spent years with a near-constant ache to touch her. To watch her unravel for me.
Fuck. I want to take what she’s offering.
Just give in for one night.
I don’t know if I can handle it, though. I’d be a greedy asshole when it comes to her. If I had one whole night with the woman I’ve been in love with for years, I don’t know that I could let her go.
Could I live through the agony of it ending? Could I drag myself away from her and pretend it never happened?
But if this is it, if this is truly my one shot with her, do I really throw it away?
Goddamn it.
I kick off my shoes and shrug out of my jacket. Then my sweater, shirt, belt, pants, and socks, until I’m standing in the middle of the cabin in black briefs, my hard cock begging me to step outside.
For a moment, I almost put it all back on. I almost reach for my pants again.
But then my gaze catches on Lena through the hazy window, and my heart leaps in my throat. Her silhouette is illuminated by moonlight as she pulls her hair into a knot behind her head. I visually trace the long column of her neck and the slope of her shoulders, and before I can think better of it, I’m drifting closer to the back door.
I’m walking toward the woman who will be my doom or my salvation.
The turn of a knob, the blast of chilly air, the click of the shutting door. I’m in a daze for all of it, until I reach the dark hot tub, and I focus intently on Lena. Her head is tilted back and her eyes are shut as I slip into the warm water and sit on the opposite side.
An electric current zaps through the water between us, flooding my body with nervous energy.
“You joined me,” she states softly, a knowing grin painted on her lips.
I swallow the bubbling apprehension in my throat. “I did.”
She sits up and crosses her legs under her, lifting enough for me to see the wet swell of her tits. “What does that mean?” she asks, small wisps of hair around her face curling tighter in the humidity.
“I have to make something clear first.” I track a bead of water as it runs down her collarbone and straight into her vee of cleavage. “You are not the person people find on their way to meet someone else. You are the whole damn package, Lena, and anyone would be lucky to love you and take care of you.”
“But not you?”
The water laps around my shoulders as she rises and stands between my feet. She tilts her head, and it takes a concerted effort to keep my eyes pinned to hers instead of letting them dip down to see everything she’s revealed above the water.
“Not me.” A sharp ache pierces my heart as I say the words. “But not because I don’twantto be that person.” I finally allow myself the pleasure of looking down, taking in every curve above her waist and trying to download every detail into my mind as quickly as possible. When I drag my gaze back up to hers, there’s a deep crease between her brows. “I can’t, Lena. As much as I want to, I can’t ruin the only family I’ve ever had.” I blink up at her and shake my head. “You’re so young, so full of life, and I’m just a moody asshole whose whole world is a mess.”
It feels like clawing my way through a list of reasons that I’m going to ignore for one night. But I have to say them out loud anyway so I don’t forget them.
She leans forward to grab my hands under the water and plants them on her hips. Her smooth curves are warm in my grip as I dig my fingers in a tiny bit.
