“Reality,” I repeat with a bitter laugh. “That kiss seemed pretty real to me.”
I watch the column of his throat as he swallows. “Yeah, it wastooreal,” he growls, voice full of gravel.
“But I’m just supposed to forget it? Move on and pretend it never happened?”
The song filters out, and a new one starts, a similar slow tempo that we keep moving through. “Yes. We both forget it,” he says with a definitive nod.
“Why?”
He tips his head toward me as he sighs. “Because you’re going back to your life in Wilhelmina. And one day you’ll meet someone closer to your age.” His fingers tighten around mine. “But it can’t be me. I’m too close to your family and not good enough for you. You deserve better.”
“Donottalk about yourself like that,” I grit out, bracing as much iron into my words as I can. “And I’m not expecting forever. Remember? I’m the one people meet on the way to their forever person.” My hollow laughter echoes between us. “Who knows, maybe if we got together, you’d find your future wife the next day.”
“I won’t,” he announces firmly. “But you deserve the kind of love your friends have. You deserve better than me, Lena.”
I swallow the raw sting in my throat. “You’ll be able to forget last night like it never happened?”
His smooth jaw works like he’s grinding his teeth together. “No. I will never forget a singlefuckingsecond of last night.” Agony bleeds through his words as he says, “I’ve been trying to push you out of my mind for years, and it has never worked.”
He drops my hand, and my stomach caves in from the force of his statement.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters before turning to leave me on the dance floor.
“We’re going to head home. Everybody’s tired,” Auggie says, lifting Jack’s sleeping body from my lap.
Behind him, Pen and Gavin are spinning on the dance floor, her feet atop his and her twirly dress fanning out behind her. Zara taps Pen’s shoulder and motions that it’s time to go, and Pen wraps her arms around Gavin’s waist.
With a sleeping Noah in her arms, Zara gives me a side hug goodbye. “I think Luci’s riding home with your mom, and we’re going to take our crew.”
I nod, looking around the room. “I think I might stay for another hour or so. I promised Gary and Joe a dance, and”—I hold up my empty cup—“I’ve only had one glass of Rosie’s famous eggnog.”
“I’ll stay with her.” Gavin’s deep voice startles me enough that I blink a few times as he approaches.
“I don’t need a chaperone,” I counter, not looking his way. “I’m sure you can ride home with Mama and Luci.” I run a hand over my silk dress to have something to do.
“Then pretend I’m your designated driver. You can have as many eggnogs as your heart desires.”
Zara’s gaze bounces between us as Auggie claps Gavin on the shoulder and thanks him for staying with me.
I meet Gavin’s stare and give him a sinister smile. “Fine. But I get to pick what we listen to on the way home.”
Gary pulls me into a fancy spin, and my dress swirls around my ankles.
“What are you all doing tomorrow for Christmas Eve?” I ask when I’m back in his arms.
I’m happy to report that the second cup of eggnog did wonders for my mood. I’ve forced Rosie to stop working long enough to dance with me, eaten way too many Christmas cookies, and organized a round of the macarena.
I feel so much better than an hour ago.
It must be the sugar.
“We have a Christmas Eve tradition in our house,” Gary says as he turns us in a circle. “We have a Christmas movie marathon, cover the coffee table with snacks and hot cocoa, wear Christmas pajamas, and spend the whole day lounging.” His wrinkles stand out with the force of his smile. “My favorite day of the year.”
“How have I never been invited to this?” I shove playfully at his chest. “What do you watch?”
“Last year, it wasThe Holiday,Home Alone”—he twirls me again—“andMiracle on 34th Street.”
“Oh, I love that movie.”
