This isn’t working.
16
LENA
After plugging in our lopsided tree’s multicolored lights, I turn around to find Gavin covering his face. I let out a snort of laughter. “That’s a little dramatic. It’s not that bright.”
With a sigh, he sits up and plants his feet on the ground like he’s giving up all pretense of trying to sleep.
“I can’t sleep,” I admit, walking to his couch and sitting cross-legged beside him.
Having trouble sleeping has been routine for the last few weeks. My brain has been full of so many restless thoughts about life and work and my future that I haven’t been able to let it go at night.
But that’s not the problem this evening.
It’s the man beside me.
The man who I have teased and flirted with endlessly today. But in the process of attempting to torture him, I’ve also been torturing myself.
He drags a hand through his hair. “I’m pretty sure I mentioned there’s a queen-size bed upstairs. You could try that.”
“I don’t want to risk the mysterious back problems.” I quirk a disbelieving brow in his direction. “Besides, I feel … jittery. Wide awake, for some reason.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have had that late-afternoon peppermint mocha.”
Well, he might have a point there. I turn ninety degrees to face him and smile sweetly. “But I had this really nice guy who was willing to make me one.”
His lips twitch. “A nice guy who is now regretting his choices.”
My vision narrows. “I feel like Santa probably makes excellent peppermint mochas for Mrs. Claus. He’s got to be smitten enough that he does anything she asks.” My brows dance as he shakes his head at me. “So you were really just continuing to nail your role as Santa.”
He snorts a laugh. “I wasn’t doing a great job of that when I almost dropped Brandon’s kid.”
“She was squirming out of your arms.” I shrug. “Santa can’t be blamed for that.”
“Yeah. The whole force-a-kid-to-sit-on-a-stranger’s-lap thing is ridiculous to me. She just wanted her mama. That’s why I had to give her back to …” Wincing, he looks to me for her name.
“Josie.” I cast him an unimpressed glare.
His chin dips in a nod. “Right. Josie. She seemed nice.”
“She is. I guess they got together really soon after the Christmas party hallway moment.” A bitter laugh bursts out of me. “Which is honestly about how my dating life goes.” I lift my hand to pretend I’m waving at an imaginary person. “Hi, I’m Lena. The woman you meet on the way to the person you’re looking for.”
Gavin’s brows crinkle. “That’s not true.”
“It is. Remember Rachel? My girlfriend I brought to Christmas a few years ago?” A muscle in his jaw shifts as I continue. “She got marriedsix monthslater.” Tugging the elastic out of my hair, I shake out my curls, letting them fall around my shoulders. “It’s fine. I’ve gotten used to the idea. I try to think of it like I’m helping them learn what they don’t want on the way to what they do.”
Thoughts flicker behind Gavin’s eyes as his face sags with a frown. “They just weren’t the person for you.”
He states it so matter-of-factly, like he justknowswithout a doubt.
I wish I could scoot closer and have him whisper those words right against my ear. Maybe that would put them in my permanent memory bank to reassure myself when I’m feeling like the only lonely person in the world.
My heart rattles against my chest as a question bubbles to my lips. “How do I know who the right person is?”
Chills race up my neck as I watch him slide his fingers over his lips.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity of waiting for his response, he drags his gaze to mine, and my stomach bottoms out at his expression. Determination paints his tense jaw and furrowed brow, and certainty seeps through his soft whiskey eyes.
