Pressure builds behind my eyes and burns down into my throat as that information lodges in my heart.
They included me even when I couldn’t show up. Even when I didn’t deserve it.
“Did you know that’s my first stocking?” I can’t pull my gaze away from the white stitching of my name across the top.
“Really? Your first one ever?”
“Yeah. Every Christmas was lonely except for one until I came here.” I swallow thickly and kiss the top of Noah’s head for something to do. “The year I was ten, I had just been placed with the Lornells a few weeks before. There were three other foster children in that home who already knew each other. They had their own friendship going on, and I had spent most of my time reading in my bed when I wasn’t at school.”
When I pause, Lena wordlessly offers me her cup. Without thinking, I take a sip and hand it back to her. “But that Christmas evening, my foster sister pulled me out of bed. She convinced me to come to her room, where she was going to read a book to the rest of us. Who knows what the hell the Lornells were doing, but this sixteen-year-old read every page of a gilded copy ofChristmas Stories for Childrenthat she had gotten from the library.” I let out a small laugh that cracks on the edges. “That was my best Christmas until I came here.”
Lena sets the mug on the coffee table, and the cushion dips as she scoots next to me. Her head lands on my shoulder, and she nestles her hand into mine on the couch, twining our fingers together in a perfect fit.
My breath gusts out of me as her touch brings a rush of relaxation to every muscle in my body. Relief washes over me like a warm breeze, and my fingers clench around hers, holding tight like she might keep me safe with her small grip.
“We want you here for all your Christmases from now on,” she says, sighing as she cuddles closer to my shoulder.
My eyelids drift shut slowly. “I want that too.”
12
LENA
The hair stands up on the back of my neck as I stare at the image Zara AirDropped to my phone.
Gavin’s head is tipped back, lips parted in sleep, with Noah on his chest. Gav has one big hand around Noah’s back and the other on the cushion between our thighs. My sleeping face is pressed against his bicep, which ended up making the perfect pillow while we were curled up together.
The picture doesn’t have a clear view of my hand, but it’s still wrapped inside Gavin’s, exactly the way it remained until Noah woke up a while later with hungry whimpers.
We look way too comfortable. Like a tiny family.
Damn it. I’m in so much trouble.
I click the little arrow at the bottom of the screen and send it to my friends.
We Catan Beat Finn
Lena: Zara took this picture earlier.
Lena: Houston, we have a problem.
Lena: I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this.
Emil: Oh shit. This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
Lena: I know.
Micah: Those forearms, though.
Lena: I know.
Millie: That looks so cozy!
Lena: I know.
Lena: You are all saying the good things, and I need you to say bad things.
Millie: Okay.
