My spine stiffens. “That’s not what I intended when I took you up there.”
He reaches over and wraps his hand around one of mine, trying to breach the Wall. “I know. But I have this huge responsibility, and I’m still trying to figure out the right ways to handle it.”
A waitress steps up to our table and sets my chicken Caesar salad and Finn’s roast beef sandwich in front of us.
When she leaves, Finn continues. “My therapist helped me sort things out yesterday, and I think it’s important to explain to you before we continue building a relationship. Because that’s what I want, Millie. I want to be together, in front of the girls and everyone else.”
Little bubbles of happiness gather in my chest as Finn reaches for my hand again.
“Clara and I were raised by two people who always put everything else before their own children. Hell, they went to a dinner party on my eighth birthday, and I pretended to blow out a candle over a bowl of cereal with Clara.” He shakes his head. “So I’m having a hard time finding the right balance between the example I was shown throughout my childhood and the kind of parent I want to be for Ave and El.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m trying to trust that Clara knew I wasn’t going to behave like our parents, and I have to believe in myself enough to trust the decision she made. But I need you to know that Ave and El will always be there. You and I being in a relationship will mean the girls are a part of it. I have to make sure you want that.”
As he explains his fears, I remember what he told me about his ex. How she broke things off because she wasn’t willing to share him with his nieces. Something twists and strains in my heart. I could never give him an ultimatum like that.
It’s Finnandhis girls. A package deal. I would never want it any other way.
The decision is effortless. “I want to be in a relationship with all of you, but what if this ends badly? I hate the thought of things going wrong between us and never getting to see the girls again.”
His eyes soften. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. But I also think that if, for some reason, we don’t continue our relationship, we’re both mature enough to handle it well for them.”
I press my lips together, feeling a wave of sadness crash over me at the thought. “They’ve already lost so much. They don’t deserve to lose more.”
“I know,” he whispers, brushing a circle over the back of my hand. “We won’t let it happen that way.”
I nod, tears springing to my eyes. “I’ve missed them this week.”
His head tilts. “You missed us?”
A snort of a laugh leaves my throat. “No, I said I missedthem. Not you. Did you see your Grumpy Spock scowl at that meeting?”
We both know my words are a lie. I missed him every day.
He gives me a wry look. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Um.” I raise my eyes to the ceiling and pretend to think over my schedule. “I have plans with a guy who isn’t grumpy and doesn’t scream at the sight of spiders.”
His mouth twitches in amusement. “He sounds boring. Come out with me, instead.”
Chapter 32
Finn
Millie’s eyes light up as we pull into our destination. She reads the lettering over the doors and flashes me a knowing grin. “Is this a nerd date?”
I park in front of the modern gray building lined with huge windows. “Absolutely. It seemed like the perfect place for two nerds to spend the evening together.”
Dionysus Games is full of every board, card, or dice game in existence. The inside is connected to Muses Books, a local bookstore catering to every kind of reader.
I can’t keep my eyes off Millie as she gets out of the car. Her red-brown waves frame her glowing pink cheeks, and her tight jeans and tan sweater reveal enough of her curves to make my mouth water.
Sliding my hand against hers, I intertwine our fingers. She squeezes tight, and when I look down at her, she’s beaming up at me.
“It feels good to be on a date with you,” she whispers.
“Better than that boring guy you had plans with?” I tease.
“I don’t know. He smiles a lot more than you.”
