“Well, we’ve been trying not to fall toward each other for months, and I’ve been beating myself up over wanting a guy I shouldn’t have, and then wejustgot to the point where we’re talking about it, and I’m already in your bed.”
He lets out a satisfied hum. “Yeah, I love that part.”
I shove his shoulder lightly. “This is serious.”
He schools his face until only a little humor peeks out. “Okay. My honest answer is that I’ve been hoping we would get to this point ever since I asked you on a date and you rejected me.” He narrows his eyes playfully. “But nothing has to be decided tonight. I just like your company, and I don’t expect anything more.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you had dropped out? I could’ve stopped beating myself up a long time ago.”
He huffs a laugh. “I tried to tell you the night I asked you on a date, but you slammed your hand over my mouth before I could.”
“I did notslammy hand over your mouth.” I roll my eyes. “And you could’ve told me after.”
“It wasn’t the only reason you mentioned. You also said you needed time after your last relationship, so I was waiting until you felt more secure in that way.”
There’s a comfortable safety in this little cocoon we’ve made in his bed. It feels tender and gentle, and it pulls the truth from my lips. “I’m still scared of being in a relationship. I don’t know how to be in a healthy one, and I’m afraid I’ll get lost. I want to be able to trust you, but I also want to be able to trustme.”
Finn nods. “I want all of that too. How can I help you?”
“I don’t know,” I say with a sigh.
His hands wrap around mine, and they rest together between our bodies. “I’ve never done this. Never had a relationship like the one I want with you, and I don’t have healthy examples in my life to learn from. But everything in me wants to make you happy. Make you proud. Keep you safe. I may not know all the answers to everything in our relationship, but I know you can trust me to try. You can trust me to be respectful and kind.” He slides a hand through my hair. “You can trust me to work with you to solve anything that makes you uncomfortable.” He brings my fingers to his lips and kisses them softly. “I’m not here to stifle you or control you or shape you into something else. I’m here to help you shine.”
A tear slides out of the corner of my eye and drips across my nose. For months, my emotions have felt raw and fragile, but with every moment in Finn’s presence, they gain a little strength.
He draws me closer until I’m nestled against his chest. “I promise you can trust me.”
Chapter 25
Millie
We may have fallen asleep last night with innocent intentions, but the pulse pounding between my legs tells me something has shifted.
When I open my eyes, the sky outside is still shrouded in darkness. The soft fabric of Finn’s pillowcase caresses my cheek, and his arm is slung over my hip, his body molded against my back. As he sighs in his sleep, his warm breath dances through my hair.
I feel like a dam broke after our conversation last night. Like the pressure of my feelings for him was building and growing, and when he finally told me he’d dropped out of the interview, the dam burst, and everything poured forward in a deluge. And now all the thoughts and wishes I had smothered and pushed aside are threatening to drown me.
He’s not forbidden anymore, and it makes me want to push my hips back into his and see what happens.
Finally, my floozy heart cheers.
I shut my eyes as I tentatively press my hips into Finn.
His breathing stops. Every muscle in his body freezes.
“Millie?” he whispers against my ear. He lifts his arm to move it off my hip, but I wrap my hand around it before he can pull away.
Turning onto my back, I meet his dusky eyes and sleep-rumpled hair.
Finn first thing in the morning is a delicacy I didn’t know I was missing. And I want todevourit.
He studies my face as his hand settles against my stomach. “What is it?”
The timbre of his voice is deep and rough in my ears, and his eyes are hazy with disbelief, like he can’t decide if he’s still dreaming.
I loop my hand around his neck and drag his lips to mine. He stays perfectly still against my mouth, but I move mine anyway. I kiss the corners, trying to tell him how greedy I am for his touch. His palm presses into my shirt like an anchor to my core, hot and solid.
My desperation rises to the surface, but Finn still hasn’t moved to kiss me back. So I pull his bottom lip between my teeth and run my tongue over it.
