“Will do. We had a great time.”
Then Emil returns to the house, leaving Millie and me standing quietly at the back of my car.
Her gaze drops to the dented fender, and she bites her lip. “You should get that fixed.”
I visually trace the damage she left when she collided with me a few weeks ago. It felt like such a damning day, in more ways than one, and I haven’t wanted to erase the evidence.
She left a similar indentation on my heart, and I haven’t been able to erase that evidence either.
“I’m glad we came, Cookie,” I say lightly, trying to make her smile. A burst of joy fills my heart when she does.
“Me too, Spock.” She beams up at me. “I’m bringing my A game next time, though. I need to bring down the king of Catan.”
Every muscle in my body screams for me to wrap my arms around her in a hug and never let her go. I could innocently press our bodies together in a normal, friendly embrace. There would be barely any physical contact, and it might satisfy my need to touch her.
But Millie backs away, and I’ve missed my chance.
“Have a good evening,” she says, taking backward steps toward her house while her eyes stay on mine. Something tightens in my chest as the distance grows between us.
“Good night, Millie,” I tell her reluctantly.
On the way home, El’s and Ave’s deep breaths keep me company. I look in the rearview mirror at their sleepy faces, and Clara floods my mind.
Sometimes Avery’s laugh sounds so much like Clara’s that my heart stops. And Eloise has her mama’s untamed, wavy hair that I can’t find the motivation to brush. It reminds me too much of my view as a kid, when I followed my big sister around like a shadow.
She was my best friend for thirty-three years of my life. We were a team, conspiring against our parents any chance we got. She read me bedtime stories and tucked me in, like I’m doing for her girls now. All we had was each other.
When she got pregnant, her boyfriend at the time decided he didn’t want any part in it. He left her the day she told him about the babies, and she immediately called me in tears.
Those little girls have been my favorite people ever since.
Would Clara be okay with the bond they’re forming with Millie? Would she be happy they have someone they trust and like spending time with? Or would she feel replaced?
Millie’s company feels like warm embers settling into my soul. They’re glowing and radiant, and they give me the motivation to keep digging out of the hole of grief that consumes me sometimes. And I know the girls feel it too. They get excited to see her, with bright, enthusiastic smiles that have been hard to come by the last few months.
The girls will never stop missing their mama, but hopefully, Clara would be happy that Millie’s presence is soothing the sting a little.
Chapter 16
Millie
This dating app is pointless. Why are all these men either holding fish or posing shirtless on a motorcycle?
I tilt my head, considering one. He’s not so bad, and his tattoos are sexy, but he’s more Tessa’s type. I take a screenshot and send it to her.
With a sigh, I pull my feet onto my desk chair and continue swiping mindlessly through profiles. I have no idea if anyone believed me about my date tomorrow, but I need to find one for myself, to prove these thoughts of Finn can be extinguished. He can’t be the only person who makes my heart pound and my cheeks hurt from smiling.
Micah strides into the office from his lunch break. “Hey. Emil and I just went to that sandwich shop that opened down the road. Bubs and Subs?” He groans as he drops into his chair. “That sandwich changed my life.”
“Oh yeah?” I reply, eyes still on my phone.
“I got their Knuckle Sandwich, which is a twist on a Reuben, where they add pickled red onions and cream cheese.”
“Mmm.” I’m still focused on my screen when Tessa responds with eight panting and drooling emoji.
“And Henry Cavill was there.” That breaks my focus, and I flit my gaze up to find Micah with a questioning look. “What’s wrong with you?”
Groaning, I set my phone on my desk. “I did a bad thing yesterday, and I don’t know how to undo it.”
