“Yes, you have, but kids still shouldn’t say it, right?” Finn asks the girls. They hum in acknowledgment, and he continues. “We wanted to tell you good luck tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Avery says. “You’re gonna be awesome.”
“You’re my favorite person at the museum,” Eloise cheers before filling the earpiece with her boisterous laugh.
“Hey,” Finn snaps playfully. “What about me?”
The girls giggle uncontrollably, and for some strange reason, it floods my eyes with tears. My chest hurts from missing them so much. Sure, I’m thoroughly addicted to Finn and constantly counting down the time until I see him again. But I feel the exact same way about the girls. On the days I don’t see their sweet faces and hear their bright laughter, my heart aches.
My voice shakes when I say, “You all are my favorites.”
The rowdiness on the other side of the phone quiets. “Did we make her cry?” Avery asks.
“Don’t worry. I’m okay,” I tell them. “They’re happy tears because you guys made me feel so special.”
“Ohhh,” Avery says.
I sniffle and try to make my voice even when I ask, “Can we celebrate together after my interview?”
Finn groans. “I wish. We have dinner with my parents tomorrow evening.”
“Do you want me to come? Need a bodyguard?” I ask, desperate to plan something to distract me after my inevitable post-interview spiral.
He huffs a laugh. “More like I need my Millie.”
A warm, cozy feeling spreads through my limbs at the way he saysmy Millie.
“I’ll be there.” A yawn takes over my body before I can contain it. “I better rest up for tomorrow. Thank you all for calling.”
“We love you, Millie,” Avery says into the phone, and my heart skips a beat. They’ve never told me that before, and my arms ache to hug them.
“I love you all too.”All three of you.
I know the words are true as soon as they pass my lips.
Being in love isn’t a familiar feeling for me. I never felt like I truly reached it with Kyle. I felt like Ineededhim to make myself happy—like I feared what my life would be without him. There was an undercurrent of feeling so bad about myself that I needed him to make me feel good.
Once I had the clarity of being away from him, I realized it didn’t feel like love. It felt like a trap.
But I’ve taken the wasteland Kyle left, all barren soil and no sunshine, and I’ve tended to it. I’ve watered it. Planted seeds. Worked to grow myself back.
Then Finn came along and encouraged the progress. He amplified my light, and he and the girls have brought an abundance of new blossoms and bright colors and sweet smells.
And something has settled into place. A realization that this is what love looks like. It’s mutual respect, where I can stand on my own, and he encourages me to do so. It’s the feeling that we’re fine without each other, but a million times betterwitheach other. It’s blooming and thriving with someone else and caring for the person next to you because seeing their flowers grow makes your world even more extraordinary.
“Can we have ice cream?” Eloise asks, releasing the quiet tension and making all of us laugh.
“You all enjoy your ice cream,” I tell them.
“Good night, Millie. See you tomorrow,” Finn promises.
My shoulders slump as I end the call, wishing I could be attheir house right now. I want to laugh with the girls and absorb their sweet innocence instead of thinking about tomorrow. I want to let Finn’s body tire me out before his deep, calm breaths lull me to sleep.
But as I get ready for bed, thoughts of Kyle blaze to the front of my mind. Anxiety about what I’ll do if he gets the job and fear that I’m not good enough to get it myself play on a loop as I try to fall asleep.
***
Oaks Folks
