Avery comes to my other thigh and lays her head next to her sister’s, their bodies stretched out perpendicular to mine. Her chest lifts with a big breath before she whispers, “Sometimes I get mama-sick when I really miss Mama.”
Something claws its way into my chest and squeezes my entire heart, and I can’t breathe through the pain of it.
“Me too,” Eloise murmurs.
Tears sting my eyes, and I have to work to control the hiccup that wants to creep out as I try to inhale. I don’t want to give away how much this hurts, because I know it’s exponentially worse for them.
I’ve spent the week mourning my job and being afraid of running into my ex-boyfriend. But these girls have lived through somethingsomuch worse. Problems like mine seem inconsequential compared to theirs.
Avery runs her fingers over my forearm in a soothing motion.
I have no idea what to say. I don’t know the right or wrong things. I’m completely unprepared. No one has coached me for this sort of situation, and I’m frustrated I never Googled it. How do I find the right words?
“It hurts to miss someone, doesn’t it?” I whisper.
They nod against my thighs. Pepper rises from her spot a few feet away and drops herself right beside Avery’s hip with a sigh.
“Do you think Uncle Finn gets mama-sick like us?” Eloise asks.
“Oh, I know he does. He misses your mama every day. But he’s so happy he gets to see you guys, because the two of you are part of your mama.”
There’s a long, thoughtful silence before Avery whispers, “He says we laugh like her.”
“And he says her hair is like mine,” Eloise adds.
The ache in my chest burns hotter listening to the pain in their voices. “That means we get to remember her all the time through the two of you,” I say, running a hand over their cheeks.
***
Finn’s “hello” echoes through the house from the garage door. He shuffles into the kitchen and drops a few things onto the counter. Then he appears in the entrance to the living room with red cheeks, messy hair, and sweat coating his skin.
He looks at our craft supplies spread out on the coffee table and smiles wide, limping a little as he walks toward us, like his muscles are already sore. “What are you all up to?”
“We’re making cards for Mama,” Avery says, holding hers up for him to see.
When my grandmother died, I was around their age, and we wrote her letters as a way of dealing with our grief. I’m crossing my fingers Finn is okay with me doing something similar with them.
I watch his face closely as he scans her card. The edges of his mouth twitch in a sad frown, and he blinks a few times. “I love it,” he whispers. “It’s perfect.”
“Millie’s making one too,” Eloise adds.
He gives us a small grin, and I hope I’m not intruding, but after my conversation with the girls outside, I felt heartened to write my own note. I’m becoming a tiny part of Clara’s girls’ lives, and I want her to know how special they are to me.
Finn hands Avery’s card back to her and kisses the top of her head. He walks to Eloise and does the same. Then he squats behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders, kissing my cheek. “Thank you,” he breathes. “For everything.”
***
“Do you think Uncle Finn is handsome?” Avery asks, toothpaste creeping out of the corners of her mouth as I supervise toothbrush time so Finn can shower.
“Very handsome.” I nod, smoothing her hair down her back.
She spits her toothpaste in the sink and rinses out her mouth. “Are you having a sleepover?”
I snort a laugh. Where do these girls get their probing relationship questions? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think my mom set them up with the questions she wants answers to.
“Is it okay with you if I do?” I ask, handing her a towel to wipe her mouth.
“Yeah. I like when you’re here. Uncle Finn is always smiling.”
