“Lucky me,” he said like he meant it.
“Ireland looks beautiful.” I reclined on my lounger, feeling completely self-indulgent, relishing the nurturing warmth of the sun on my skin. “Let’s go there.”
“Ireland?” He paused. “You’ve never shown any interest in Ireland before.”
“The pictures Ayla took of cycling along the coast, those gorgeous cliffs, changed my mind.” Our daughter had visited Ireland with a student group back in high school. “The hiking views must be insane.”
“I’d rather push Ireland down the list.”
“Why?”
“Since I’ve already been there.”
“You have? When?”
He didn’t answer right away. “Right after college,” he finally said. “With a friend.”
“How could you not mention that? Ayla went to Ireland and you never once brought up that you’d been there.”
“Because I went with an old girlfriend.”
“That must mean you went with Lizzie.” Thinking about Ali with his ex still made me a little crazy, but I wasn’t about to admit it. “That was a long time ago.” I forced a casual tone. I didn’t want the specter of that woman intruding on our second honeymoon the way it had the first. “I’m too old to worry about college girlfriends.”
“Hallelujah!” His surprised gaze met mine. “That only took twenty years.”
I shrugged, pretending to be much more nonchalant than I felt. “By the time we hit our thirtieth anniversary, I won’t even remember her name.”
“That would be nice. I barely remember it myself.”
I sipped my frozen drink. “You were such an idiot to invite her to the wedding,” I couldn’t resist adding, recalling my devastation when I spotted Lizzie’s name on the guest list.
“If you recall, I didn’t mean to invite her. But, yes, it was stupid of me not to check the guest list.”
“I wonder what happened to her. Does the group ever hear from her?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t ask. She knows I don’t want to hear from her. I mean,” he amended, “I don’t wish her any ill will.” He spoke haltingly. “If she were in deep trouble and desperately needed help, obviously I would do what I could.”
Irritation rippled through me. As if that were his place. But I forced a playful tone. “Hero complex much? You dated twenty years ago,” I reminded him. “If she got into trouble, she probably has other big strong men in her life to come to her rescue.”
“Why are we even talking about this?” He got up. “I’m going in. You want to come?”
I smiled up at him, surprised to note the tense lines around his mouth. “No, thanks. Maybe later.”
“Come on.” He reached for my hand. “Come into the water with me.”
I relented. We waded into the cool water, and once we were deep enough, he pulled me into him. It was unusual for Ali to get handsy in public.
“We can go to Ireland if you want,” he said.
“No, that’s OK. There are a million other places I’d like to see.” Places that would be new to both of us. Enjoying the water’s buoyancy, I wrapped my legs around his waist and looped my arms around his neck. “Is there any other country you visited with an ex-girlfriend that we should avoid?”
“Nope.” He studied my face for what seemed like a long time. “You know that I would never do anything to hurt you, right?”
“Of course.” I could feel the tension in his body. He’d been so relaxed until the subject of the old girlfriend came up.
“I want you to know that I never loved anyone more than I love you,” he said. “What we have, you and I, is on a whole other level. We’ve built a life together. Nothing means more to me than you and our family.”
“I know.” I tried not to dwell on it, but sometimes I still wondered if I had been Ali’s second choice. But I also knew my husband never said anything he didn’t mean. I feathered my fingers over the frown lines in his forehead, longing to erase them. “It’s in the past.”
