Me:??Nowyou want to talk???? I thought the subject of your girlfriend was off limits??
Ali:??If you just calm down I can explain??
Me:??Don’t you dare tell me to calm down!!! You’re the asshole here. Not me??
Ali:??Please pick up the phone so we can talk??
I stopped responding to his texts and turned off my phone. I needed to think. What should I do? WhatcouldI do? The wedding was three weeks away. Everything was booked, the deposits paid. It would be a huge embarrassment for both families if I backed out now. I could just imagine the gossip. Everyone would probably assume that Ali dumped me.
Maybe she wasn’t a virgin.
I heard that once he got to know her, he found her annoying.
She talked too much.
She didn’t talk enough.
He’s handsome and has a good job. He could marry anyone.
What ahamara. Only a female donkey would think she could do better.
She’s not that young. Almost twenty-two.
They say she’smejnoona. Crazy.
I shoved the unconstructive thoughts out of my head. What I’d told Ali was true: I was basically a go-with-the-flow kind of person. But not if the flow included his ex. I wanted nothing to do with any girl he’d slept with. If the past was the past, then that’s where Lizzie should stay. She definitely didn’t belong at my wedding. I knew men could be idiots, but was Ali reallythisdumb?
I debated what to do. I didn’t want to go home, and I didn’t have a job to go to. I’d decided that if the museum job came through, great, but if not, I’d actively look for my first full-time position after we got married. I wanted to be free for wedding planning, and taking a new job right now would also limit the length of my honeymoon. In the meantime, college graduation cash gifts were my spending money.
Mama heartily approved of this decision to focus on my impending marriage, Baba was neutral, and Lulu just rolled her eyes. “Way to put your life on hold for a man,” she said.
“I’m not focusing on a man. I’m focusing on my wedding,” I told her. “You only get married once.”
Now I wasn’t sure I was getting married at all. Needing time alone to think, I went to a matinee—I had no idea what movie I saw—and then took myself to dinner. I texted my parents to tell them I was seeing a movie and eating out with friends so that they wouldn’t worry. I somehow managed to keep my phone off. When I finally got home, it was after nine o’clock. Mama and Baba were watching cable TV news in the family room.
“There you are,” Mama said, keeping her eyes on the screen. “Call Ali. He said he’s been trying to call you but something is wrong with your phone.”
“My phone is fine,” I called back as I went up the stairs. “I just turned it off during the movie and forgot to turn it back on.”
I reached the sanctuary of my room and stared at the full-size bed covered with an old floral comforter that I’d picked out in high school. Would I still be sleeping in this bed in three weeks? Or would I be on my honeymoon? I changed into my pajamas, washed my face, and brushed my teeth before climbing into bed. I kept my phone off.
Ali didn’t track me down until the next morning as I was leaving the gym. Normally, I’d hate for him to see me at my worst, with sweaty hair and baggy clothes. I was never one of those girls who looked cute while working out.
“This is ridiculous,” he said.
“Tell me about it.” I walked past him toward the parking lot.
“Are you just not going to take my calls all the way up until the wedding?”
“Ifthere’s a wedding.”
“Come on.” His voice softened. “Don’t talk like that.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” I reached my car and threw my gym bag in the trunk.
He followed me to the driver’s side. “Are you really willing to throw all of this away?”
I rounded to face him, my back against the car door. “You threw it away by being a cheating liar.”
